TSA Introduces New Ways To Prove You're Not a Terrorist!
Shocking news from the Terrorism Security Agency: All airplane terrorists would not have even existed if ONLY the TSA had crucial information from you, the person booking a flight on the Internet. What is that you say, potential terrorist? You already provide your name and your credit card and then your government-issued photo ID at the airport, to 30 or 40 different TSA employees? THAT IS NOT ENOUGH WHAT ARE YOU SOME KIND OF MUSLIM?
As of Saturday, you may (or may not, who knows!) have to provide your gender (gay) and age (uhh) when buying your little online plane tickets so you can go to New Jersey or whatever, for a funeral. Hooray!
In this way, says the TSA, the TSA will never again let terrorists get on all the planes and kill everybody, like they did that one time, before the TSA existed. Oh yeah and if you aren't asked for your gender and age when doing the online checkout thing, don't worry ... or do worry, it is not at all clear, but the main thing is to live your life like a nervous fucking dog owned by a family of adult retarded people just yelling nonsense at all hours, and if you don't do the "right thing" (which changes by the second) they kick the shit out of you and throw you outside, because what are you going to do about it? You're a dog, and your owners -- your GODS, really -- are fat retards who can kill you at any time, for any reason, or no reason at all, the end.