Tucker Carlson Is Angry With Wonkette
Wonkette editors on both coasts were mystified by a "tip" received this morning:
From: firstname.lastname@example.orgUnravel the mystery with us, after the jump.
Date: Sun, 17 Dec 2006 08:49:37 EST
Subject: (no subject)
Total bullshit. I never eat at McDonald's. And at the time I wasn't even living in Washington, or wearing a bow tie. Eating a breakfast sandwich as I walked out the door? Come on. Seriously.
The AOL address was just the typical seemingly random assortment of letters and numerals, and the note was unsigned. An emergency editorial conference was held, via the Internets:
Alex: do you know what this means?
(Three hours pass.)
Ken: Tucker Carlson? .... Yep, that's what it is ... a Wonk'd from before our time.
Alex: i thought it was tucker, but searches turned up nothing in the last, like, three months. guy holds a grudge, apparently.
Me: i'm insulting him by email right now
Alex: he was, in his defense, pretty friendly the one time i met him. even though everything i've ever written about him was extraordinarily mean.
And several hours after that illuminating bit of peer-reviewed research, we stumbled upon this "Washington Whispers" item, Oh, No! It's Out With the Bow, posted yesterday by Paul Bedard:
First his dancing shoes and now his bow tie? Yup, Tucker Carlson, host of MSNBC's Tucker and a brief contestant on Dancing With the Stars, has gone traditional. "I ditched the bow tie for the same reason most men make profound life decisions: on a whim," he says. "After 20 years I was looking for a change, and the bolo tie just didn't feel right."Finally, a possible motive for Tucker's sudden interest in a Wonk'd item from two summers ago!
Mr. Carlson is clearly trying to remove all evidence of his Bow-Tie Fetish from the Internets. Note how he slyly pretends his real interest in the Wonk'd item is a disdain for breakfast sandwiches and McDonald's -- which is typical Washington Media Elitist Main Stream Media!
But is this bow-tie thing even news? And what the fuck do bolo ties have to do with anything? Did somebody dig up George Allen and not tell us?
Additional research proves that Tucker hasn't done the Bow-Tie Thing for weeks, possibly months. Many months. In fact, we posted this BREAKING BULLETIN in April.
And for a while, he was rockin' the sleazy undone-top-button look. But Christopher Hitchens sent an angry e-mail saying that was his look and he wanted it back.
Oh, No! It's Out With the Bow [U.S. News]