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Twitter Digest: Ted Nugent And Secret Service To Bang Whores, Barbecue A Dog

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Ted Nugent ishaving a barbecue with the Secret Service, because he simply cannot stop asking ladies and Barack Obama to ride his machine gun, and suck on his machine gun, and die from the bullets ejaculating forth from his machine gun, and now he is like a black Jew at a Klan rally, he says, meaning he is Being Oppressed! (That is what you do to blacks and maybe Jews.)


As for the Secret Service probe, Nugent said that he will be meeting with officials on Thursday.

“We actually have heard from the Secret Service and they have a duty. I support them. I salute them. And I look forward to our meeting tomorrow,” he said. “I‘m sure we’ll have a great conversation…bottom line is, I‘ve never threatened anybody’s life in my life. I’ve never threatened. I don’t waste breath threatening.”

He continued, going on to reiterate his respect for the law enforcement officials.

“We’re going to have a little barbecue get together,” he said. “And I’m not trying to diminish the seriousness of this, because if the Secret Service are doing it they are serious. They are dedicated and I will be as polite and supportive as I possibly can be, which will be thoroughly.”

Also, Barack Obama totally ate Fluffy, and we for one are fine with that. Wait, where'd all our PETA ads go? [TheBlaze]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Deleted Comments: We Gave God The Banhammer

The Commentczar's In Town

Yr Wonkette has been getting quite a few visits from trolls lately, although most of the infestations have been incredibly tiresome and not at all worth discussing here. We're talking, like, not even as good as ol' Turgid Love Muscle Guy. Come to think of it, we haven't seen him in a while; hope he's OK. At least health-wise.

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In 2006, Bob Casey Jr., then the Pennsylvania state treasurer, defeated Rick Santorum and took his seat in the US Senate; presumably only after having it steam cleaned. Not that Casey wanted anything much to do with Dan Savage, the columnist who had helpfully made the alternative definition of "Santorum" one of the best demonstrations of the power of trolling for the prior three years. But in '06, Casey's campaign actually declined a donation from Savage; Casey's finance director thanked him, but suggested maybe Savage could give the money to a group working against Santorum so Casey wouldn't get flak for taking the donation. That was back when Dems were happy to talk about civil unions but frightened of gay marriage, and Casey just plain wussed out on the chance to bring a "weeks-long debate about feces, lube, and assfucking" to the Senate race, as then-Wonket Dave Weigel put it. But Bob Casey has come rather a long way since then, and he now supports marriage equality. He might still be a bit shy about a full-on embrace of buttsechs talk, however.

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