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Twitter Digest: Ted Nugent And Secret Service To Bang Whores, Barbecue A Dog

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Ted Nugent ishaving a barbecue with the Secret Service, because he simply cannot stop asking ladies and Barack Obama to ride his machine gun, and suck on his machine gun, and die from the bullets ejaculating forth from his machine gun, and now he is like a black Jew at a Klan rally, he says, meaning he is Being Oppressed! (That is what you do to blacks and maybe Jews.)


As for the Secret Service probe, Nugent said that he will be meeting with officials on Thursday.

“We actually have heard from the Secret Service and they have a duty. I support them. I salute them. And I look forward to our meeting tomorrow,” he said. “I‘m sure we’ll have a great conversation…bottom line is, I‘ve never threatened anybody’s life in my life. I’ve never threatened. I don’t waste breath threatening.”

He continued, going on to reiterate his respect for the law enforcement officials.

“We’re going to have a little barbecue get together,” he said. “And I’m not trying to diminish the seriousness of this, because if the Secret Service are doing it they are serious. They are dedicated and I will be as polite and supportive as I possibly can be, which will be thoroughly.”

Also, Barack Obama totally ate Fluffy, and we for one are fine with that. Wait, where'd all our PETA ads go? [TheBlaze]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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The Dumb Song Of J. Dinesh Prufrock

A quick Dear Shitferbrains for you smart kids today, in response to our recent piece on Dinesh D'Souza's continued insistence that historian Kevin M. Kruse please bitchslap him with facts again and again. It turns out we picked the wrong historian to lionize, according to "Hadding Scott," who dropped by to let us know we had foolishly referred to a mere Princeton professor instead of to the most comprehensive take-down-er of D'Souza's lies, "Hadding Scott" himself.

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Among the primary results from Tuesday that we didn't report: Chris Murphy, US Senator from Connecticut, managed to hold on to the Democratic nomination for a second term. Actually, if you want to get all technical about it, he didn't win the nom Tuesday -- he'd already been nominated at the state party convention in May, and the Dem primary was cancelled since Murphy was the only one to file. Murphy's also heavily favored to win reelection this fall. The biggest question for Murphy is whether he's hoping to seek some other office in a couple years. (As if any prominent Democratic senator hasn't already mentally compared their inaugural crowd size to Trump's.)

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