Unemployment Problem Finally Solved
You've done it, America! You have already shed so many jobs that you are running out of remaining jobs to lose. That means new unemployment filings for last week were not quite as awful as unemployment filings for the previous week, and were the lowest since late January! We have turned a corner, etc!
Alas, every employment expert in the world agrees that things will get worse before they get better, jobs are a lagging indicator blah blah blah, which means that job losses will probably continue throughout the year. They will just hopefully not be quite as dire and awful as what we've already seen. Those of you who are already unemployed, give yourself a pat on the back -- you have gotten an early start on the inevitable.