Urban Outfitters Will Definitely Not Be Selling Newtown-Themed Rompers

Here's a pretty good marketing scheme: Sell classic university-logo sweatshirts that have been naturally weathered, so they look all old-fashioned n' stuff. Like that Kent State shirt up top, only $129from Urban Outfitters. It's pretty cool, unless maybe you give the photo a few nanoseconds of thought and wonder what the fuck a bright crimson stain on a KENT STATE shirt might call to mind.

Oh, yeah, that.

The item went up online on Urban Outfitters' website Sunday evening, as part of a group of "vintage" college-logo sweatshirts; others in the group were a little faded or irregularly colored, but none had what looked like simulated vintage bloodstains and bullet holes -- not even the University of Texas shirt, which could have come with a Whitman's Sampler (that reference should ring a bell tower for you). Social media users immediately started asking WTF, man? And by this morning, Urban Outfitters had issued a rather lame apology:

Urban Outfitters sincerely apologizes for any offense our Vintage Kent State Sweatshirt may have caused. It was never our intention to allude to the tragic events that took place at Kent State in 1970 and we are extremely saddened that this item was perceived as such. The one-of-a-kind item was purchased as part of our sun-faded vintage collection. There is no blood on this shirt nor has this item been altered in any way. The red stains are discoloration from the original shade of the shirt and the holes are from natural wear and fray. Again, we deeply regret that this item was perceived negatively and we have removed it immediately from our website to avoid further upset.

Given the utter cluelessness of other companies in similar situations, that sounds just boneheaded enough that we're willing to believe it. So everything is OK again, and if you want to pay far too much for other sweatshirts, they're still available.

In the meantime, Urban Outfitters is really having a hard time figuring out what to do with that shipping container full of "JFK Limo Backseat" couch throws that's sitting on a pier in San Diego.


Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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