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U.S. Army: Best in the World, Needs a Nap

Wonkette's Department of Army operative sent along an email that went out last week to the personnel of the Information Management Support Center, who are apparently recruited from local kindergartens:


We treat others in our team as we wish to be treated. . . . Please say "please," "thank you," and "I'm sorry" when appropriate.  These are things our mothers taught us, but they seem to be missing in the work place.  No one is right all the time. . . When you are wrong. don't try to bluff your way out.  Just say "I'm sorry, I was wrong on that."
Isn't there was some kind of Geneva Convention thingee against child soldiers? Guess Rumsfeld didn't get that memo.

Full scolding after the jump.

From:   XXXXXX IMCEN [Information Management Support Center]

Sent:   Wednesday, June 02, 2004 8:19 AM

To:    IMCEN-All

Subject:   Teamwork (UNCLASSIFIED)

Classification: UNCLASSIFIED

Caveats: NONE

Folks, remember we (alright I) have selected teamwork as our cultural principle to cultivate. I am on my soapbox again. 

An essential part of teamwork is courtesy.  We treat others in our team as we wish to be treated. (Sounds like something we have heard before, doesn't it?)  That extends to being mindful of the impression that we leave and avoiding things that aggravate.  (An example would be that I tend to drum my fingers when I want a meeting to move along, but I try to avoid that as it drives some folks crazy. I should try to use a more courteous tack of asking that we conclude our remarks and move to the next subject.) 

Courtesy certainly extends to e-mail.  Don't put it in writing if you wouldn't say it directly to a person.  E-mail has an addition problem of not allowing for the use of body language and inflection that many times helps soften or explain our remarks.  If you have had a couple of e-mail exchanges with someone and the point just isn't getting through, go see that person. 

Please say "please," "thank you," and "I'm sorry" when appropriate.  These are things our mothers taught us, but they seem to be missing in the work place.  No one is right all the time (and I should really know as I make my ten mistakes a day regularly).  When you are wrong. don't try to bluff your way out.  Just say "I'm sorry, I was wrong on that."  That demonstrates your respect for your fellow IMCENite and builds their respect for you.

Folks, you are doing a great job and achieving things that are being done no where else in the Army.  Keep up the good work and lets build our teamwork!

Thanks,

XXXXXXX

Classification: UNCLASSIFIED

Caveats: NONE

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Martha McSally is worried. Everything was coming up Martha when Arizona Gov. Doug Ducey picked her to fill the late John McCain's Senate seat. But now the junior senator has to hold that seat in 2020, and actual elections are where she has her troubles. Kyrsten Sinema, she of the fierce wardrobe, defeated McSally last year when they were running against each other for Jeff Flake's old seat. Arizona hadn't elected a Democratic senator since 1988.

McSally's likely challenger next year is Mark Kelly, who's a goddamn astronaut. We appreciate her service as an Air Force pilot but really, Kelly's been in space, where the Klingons are. Kelly's identical twin is also an astronaut. McSally has four siblings and none of them are astronauts or even her twin. She can't win this.

Besides, this is Kelly's campaign announcement video. When his awesome wife, Gabby Giffords, shows up, we just lose it. Why are we even bothering with an election?

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FINALLY. Of course, we say "finally," because we haven't been behind the scenes in the House Judiciary and Intelligence committees to witness the negotiating and wrangling firsthand, so we don't know what it's taken to make this happen, but clear your calendars for July 17, because Bobby Mueller is goin' to Congress!

Committee chairs Adam Schiff and Jerry Nadler sent the letter late yesterday, accompanied by a subpoena, for Mueller to testify at 9 a.m. Eastern on July 17, which is a Wednesday, so you will presumably not be busy with brunch. The hearings for each committee will be back to back, after which members of Mueller's staff will meet with committee staff behind closed doors.

Schiff told Rachel Maddow last night that it should not be viewed as a friendly subpoena, because as we all know, Mueller has been very reluctant to become the star of the political circus this will surely create. However, he's gonna have to suck it up, because as we all saw after what happened when Mueller addressed the nation for 10 whole minutes, there is great value in actually having Mueller breathe life into his own work, for an American audience that hasn't read his 448-page report. (And we don't blame them/you! We probably wouldn't have read it all if it wasn't our job. It would probably be on our "list," like "someday I am going to watch 'The Sopranos' start to finish finally. And then I will read the Mueller Report!")

Point is, it needs to happen on live TV, where people can gather around at work and on the train and in the Fantastic Sams while they gets their hair did, and let this highly respected public servant tell the story of how America's most hostile enemy attacked the 2016 election in order to help Donald Trump, how the Trump campaign was positively orgasmic over that reacharound, and how Trump criminally obstructed the investigation into that hostile foreign attack at every turn.

And because Robert Mueller is a patriotic American who respects the rule of law and our institutions, he will be complying with the subpoena, because of fucking course he will.

Right off the bat, we have a couple of questions:

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