Journalism

Pretty Much All You Need To Know About Trump's Sad Loser 'Tony Bobulinski' Hail Mary Pass

Wall Street Journal Hunter Biden disinfo blocked by heroes at ... the Wall Street Journal.

Donald Trump, a guy whose entire family lives off his name, is trying to gin up a scandal because Hunter Biden monetized his own father's name. That's it, that's the tweet.

Or really, that's the entire stupid, last minute, Hail Mary pass from Team Trump. Half a mile from the White House is a Trump-branded hotel where foreign governments, lobbyists, and corporate entities slip millions of dollars directly into the president's pocket every year. But Donald Trump wants to make hay out of Hunter Biden trying — and mostly failing — to cash in on his connections. And he's doing it with the aid of not one, not two, but three Rupert Murdoch-owned media outlets, because those are the only ones who'll touch this shit with a 10-foot pole.

And now we have to learn about some asshole named Tony Bobulinski!

This year SUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS.

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2020 presidential election

The 4264 Stupidest Moments In The Final Trump Biden Debate

The tone! The tone!

Against our expectations, Donald Trump actually showed up for the second and final debate with Joe Biden last night, after having refused to participate in what should have been the second debate because it was going to be held virtually. Unlike in the first debate, Trump didn't go completely batshit screamy-faced for the first 40 or so minutes, managing instead to deliver his baldfaced lies in what counts, for Trump, as a more serious tone, before becoming more agitated and interrupty later. It would be the vilest speculation to suggest the drugs wore off after a while, so we certainly will not say that.

CNN's Chris Cillizza, who can be relied upon for the worst takes in mainstream punditry, proclaimed Trump's performance "significantly better" and claimed that for the first hour, Trump "displayed a level of message discipline that he has rarely been able to stick to during his presidency," which might be semi-accurate if you don't mind that whatever focus Trump maintained was devoted to lying. But even Cillizza noted that President Stepford's brief imitation of calm wasn't enough to overcome how far behind Trump is, particularly since it evaporated in the final third of the debate, and that Trump constantly lied — a detail Cillizza relegated to a separate bullet point.

Let's run down a few takeaways from this, which we might dare to hope is the final national debate in which Trump will appear.

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Journamalism

Who Wanna Watch MSNBC's Hallie Jackson Dick-Punch Hogan Gidley?

YOU DO! YOU DO!

Hey was there a debate last night? We didn't hear.

Anyway, y'all love it when women kick Trumpers in the nuts and make them eat it, especially when it's woman reporters on the fake news, so since it is Friday — maybe the next-to-last Friday before our long national nightmare begins to end! — here is a post about MSNBC's Hallie Jackson dickpunching Trumper Hogan Gidley.

Y'all remember Hogan Gidley, right? He is the White House spokes-nerd whose name can't possibly be real, and moreover nothing else about him can possibly be real. ALLEGEDLY, he is a different person from "Judd Deere," the gay one. ALLEGEDLY.

Point is, Gidley went on the TV to talk to MSNBC's Hallie Jackson on Thursday, and immediately he started blabbing his dumb lying face off about mail-in voter fraud. But wait! How could he possibly do that after FBI Director Chris Wray and Director of National Intelligence John Ratcliffe called a SUPER EXTRA IMPORTANT press conference, in part to explicitly say that rumors on the internets you hear about rampant mail-in voter fraud are hell-lies from Iran, which is spreading them by hitting "record" on videos of Donald Trump talking about rampant mail-in voter fraud?

How could he possibly do that? Because he is paid for lying.

Watch Hallie Jackson dickpunch Hogan Gidley:

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2020 presidential election

When Is The Debate Tonight? Where Can You Watch The Debate? WHY, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHY?

We're here for you. We'll get through this together.

Just a quick reminder that Joe Biden and that orange fellow will be meeting for their second televised debate tonight at 9 p.m. Eastern, broadcast on all the networks, the cable news channels, and livestreamed right here at Wonkette while Yr Editrix livebloogs the whole insane spectacle as long as her brain holds out. We cannot rule out the possibility that we may all be driven mad like an HP Lovecraft character reading an accursed eldritch text. So come and gibber in ancient and obscene tongues with us, won't you?

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