It's not like anyone's checking.
Right on the heels of The Lady Who Couldn't Feed Puerto Rico and The Wedding Planner Who Might Not Feed Anyone Either, we learn from a ProPublica investigation that the US government has handed out a whole bunch of multimillion-dollar no-bid contracts to companies that have never had federal contracts before, including
A firm set up by a former telemarketer who once settled federal fraud charges for $2.7 million. A vodka distributor accused in a pending lawsuit of overstating its projected sales. An aspiring weapons dealer operating out of a single-family home.
So let's all tune in to the hot new hit, So! You Think You Can Get A Huge Medical Supplies Contract! (Sure, You Can!)
Where's Trump? Don't give a fuck.
As America reached and surpassed 100,000 (confirmed) coronavirus deaths on Wednesday, Donald Trump marked the moment by whining about Twitter hurting his feelings, going to Florida for SPACESHIP! but Elon Musk couldn't get it up womp womp, and by announcing he was going to sign an executive order about Twitter hurting his feelings.
Oh yeah, and a day late and so many dollars short, somebody else wrote this tweet for Trump this morning:
We have just reached a very sad milestone with the coronavirus pandemic deaths reaching 100,000. To all of the families & friends of those who have passed, I want to extend my heartfelt sympathy & love for everything that these great people stood for & represent. God be with you!
We know somebody else wrote it because all the words are spelled correctly, there are no illiterate and weird "quotation marks," there are no lies, and he didn't even accuse any innocent people of murder or WITCH HUNT or whatever else. Oh yeah, and no whining.
Trump may be the stupidest person in America, but let's be fair, he's also empty, broken, and devoid of empathy and all other normal human emotions. He couldn't write even that pissant phoned-in message.
It's easy to forget, during this historic pandemic, but we are electing a president in 159 days, which means we are in full-on election season. If this were the 2016 election, for comparison's sake, we'd be days away from seeing the first major evidence that Russia was fucking with the 2016 election. For 2020 it's ... LOL fuck it, it's probably the same timeline.
But we do have a presumptive nominee, and his name is Joe Biden, and if there is one thing Biden is good at, it's being the comforter-in-chief, especially when grief is involved. And he released a video message to mark 100,000 lives lost, and you can watch it and remember what a president looks like, and what it could be like to once again have a president who possesses the humanity to actually fucking say something.
Secretary Ragey McGriftergrab strikes again.
This little piggy went to market. This little piggy stayed home. And THIS little piggy used the power and prestige of the United States government to build his donor base for a 2024 presidential run all the way home.
It seems like just last week we were talking about Secretary of State Mike Pompeo and his lovely wife, Susan, using State Department resources to host lavish dinners for Republican mega-donors and celebrities — complete with commemorative swag bag, natch — in a blatant attempt to ingratiate himself with people who could boost his political fortunes. Because it was just last week, although who can remember when there are so, so many Pompeo scandals to keep straight? Shit, even Tom Friedman thinks Pompeo's the "Worst Secretary of State Ever."
Sorry to say, however, that Pompeo has added another turd to the many floaters already bobbing around that nasty punchbowl. Don't faint, but Mr. and Mrs. Pompeo's political-climbing grift didn't start when Mike took over at Foggy Bottom. Before he became secretary of State, the couple ran the same scam when Pompeo led the CIA.
Errand boy does errand.
Attorney General Please-Sir-May-I-Lick-Another strikes again!
Justice Department spokesperson Kerri Kupec announced Wednesday night on the Hannity TV show that Bill Barr has appointed yet another US attorney to do Donald Trump's dirty work, investigating the investigators who caught Trump and/or his associates redhanded, committing various crimes.
[Kupec] said the attorney general had tasked John Bash, the U.S. attorney in the Western District of Texas, to examine the practice of "unmasking," which many Republicans charge was abused by the previous administration to unfairly target people close to Trump.
"The attorney general determined that certain aspects of unmasking needed to be reviewed," Kupec said. "We know that unmasking inherently isn't wrong, but . . . can be problematic."
Sure, you betcha, we bet Bill Barr found something that is very problematic (for his boss, the man he serves as de facto personal and private lawyer).
Bash will be "looking specifically at episodes both before and after the election," Kupec said. "The frequency, who was unmasking whom, all of these circumstances and events can shed light and give us a better understanding of what happened with respect to President Trump, his campaign and, of course, what happened after he was elected, as well," she added.
In other words, Bash will be investigating OBAMAGATE! which was the BIGGEST CRIME! and you know what it is, because it is OBAMAGATE!