VALENTINE'S GIFT 20+ Insanely Cool Gadgets You'll Regret Not Getting for Him! Tabs, Fri., April 30, 2021

VALENTINE'S GIFT 20+ Insanely Cool Gadgets You'll Regret Not Getting for Him! Tabs, Fri., April 30, 2021
Tabs gifs by your friend Martini Ambassador!

To ratfuck a ratfucker. Matt Gaetz's boy Joel Greenberg took screenshots of all his Signal texts (?) with Roger Stone, where Roger Stone would try real hard to sell Greenberg a preemptive pardon for the low low price of $250,000, for among other things paying a 17-year-old for sex whom he shared with Gaetz. I mean, it's legal (the "lobbying," not the paying a girl for sex) but goddamn. Daily Beast has the comms.

Old Handsome Joe's Next 100. (Crooked Media) Biden went big except when he didn't. (Bill Scher at Washington Monthly)

Markos was wrong about Joe Biden (same) and couldn't be happier about it. — Daily Kos

Was Tim Scott right about America not being a racist country? Michael Harriot investigated! (The Root)

Biden calls Bernie a lot. Also Manchin sometimes, and Mitch McConnell, "to urge bipartisanship, which has so far not manifested." (Business Insider)

Oh no the couples making $798,998 are going to get a TAXES, and that is BAD!

Anyway that story is hilarious and Axios can suck a dick!

The feds were going to arrest Derek Chauvin on the courthouse steps had he been acquitted. (Lawyers Guns & Money)

Decertify the police. — Jason Johnson at The Grio

QAnon Crossfit chiropractor really hates Jews! — Vice

I am glad the Wilkinson County, Georgia, sheriff's department fired this person Cody Griggers, he seems terrible! County DA might wanna have a look-see at his arrests. (Macon Telegraph)

The men need to do more housework. — Erik Loomis at Lawyers Guns & Money

If Gov. Jared Polis signs it into law, humans in Colorado will soon be permitted to compost themselves after death. Here's a company that does it in Washington state, where it's also legal! (I don't want to be "composted" so much as "buried without all that shit in me, and grow a tree on top.")

OH lord, the carbon monoxide poisonings in Texas during the freeze, oh lord! (ProPublica)

I'm sure this militia dude running against Gretchen Whitmer is very nothing to worry about, everything's fine. — Oliver Willis at American Independent

Kris Kobach is running for Kansas AG again! Maybe a judge can order him to remedial AG school a second time! (KC Star)

It's not nearly as funny as when former Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke decides to stink up Congress from Montana's new second Congressional District, because that's where I live. — FEC

Speaking of Montana, employers can no longer require any kind of vaccinations, even if they are schools or hospitals, lolllll yaaaaayyyyyy. That is just one of the many great new Montana laws under our always insane lege and new Republican governor, and I have been steadfastly avoiding learning about any of them, there are SO MANY and DEPRESSED. (Daily Montanan)

Is this what Clubhouse is? It sounds like sadness!

A conversation would start with people pontificating on the purpose of life, then swing to alien conspiracies and the possibility of reptoids on earth. With rooms unnamed and ephemeral, you wouldn't know what everyone was talking about until you entered and couldn't know what was discussed if you hadn't. It was an audio-only Omegle with a slick mobile UI and the off-chance of encountering Oprah Winfrey or John Mayer.

— "Cashing in on Clubhouse," Every

Speaking of! Let's stop being all internetty, except at Wonkette. — Foster Kamer in the New York Times!

Shyyyy please make me a WHISKEY! SMASH! (Liquor)

Shyyyy please make me a Quindim (Brazilian coconut egg custard)! — Food and Wine

How to make a pot of beans? #DoWhatYouLike (Food and Wine)

Guys, it's time for Dan Savage's HUMP Film Fest! #DoWhatYouLike

Except for Josh Duggar, he is under arrest. (TMZ)

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

Please don't forget to tithe your Wonkette if you haven't already this month, I forgot to do a moneybeg (didn't forget, didn't want to), okay bye!

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