We here at Wonkette mostly luuuuurve our new pope, New Pope. He isa communist (communism!)! He saved and returned all his newspaper rubber bands every month (loves the environment!)! He went to the slums and did Mass for hookers (like Bizarro American Jesus!)! He did his own cooking and lived in a little apartment and took the bus instead of living in the bishop's mansion (not greedy!)! He was against priests diddling little children (totally weird!)! He washed girl feet, and Muslim feet, and told the priests to get over themselves already (totally blasphemous!)! He was almost the pope last time around, which meant he was the choice of the liberal cardinals as opposed to Pope Nazi, FOR WHOM WE DID NOT PARTICULARLY CARE.


Some of you have your cavils with New Pope, including his reported participation in Argentina's Dirty War. But others, including the Nobel winner who exposed it, said he was working behind the scenes to pressure the junta. (Perhaps he was not saintly enough to be martyred, but he was not an accomplice.) Do you care? No, you would like to believe the worst, because sometimes you are TERRIBLE. (Also, the billion-member Catholic Church isn't going away anytime soon, so maybe stop being Naderites letting the perfect be the enemy of the good. Lecture over? MAYBE.)

Anyway, the Vatican's US legal advisor, Edward Peters, whom we do not luuuuurve quite so much as New Pope, said a true thing, and that true thing was this: He said that the dude who shot himself on Notre Dame's altar, to protest France legalizing gay marriage, made anti-gay-marriage folk look like "kooks."

That is about right, Edward Peters!

Then he went on to being a dick about it some more:

"When Dominique Venner killed himself with a shotgun blast to the head inside Paris’ Notre Dame Cathedral (indeed, it seems, within the sanctuary itself) he desecrated that great church. If it turns out that Venner killed himself in protest over France’s new 'gay marriage' law, then, besides condemning the classical scandal his deed produced, one may further observe that all he really accomplished was to make opponents of 'gay marriage' look like kooks, and to deprive, for a time, the faithful of France of a particularly powerful place of worship from which to ask God’s help in preserving the natural and holy institution of marriage in their nation. Only the Evil One would take pleasure in that."

Meh.

How is New Pope's record on gay marriage? NOT AWESOME. He approved of civil unions in Argentina, but only as the "lesser of two evils." Still, that's more progressive than the 34 states right in Amercia that don't allow civil unions at all.

Then he excommunicated this pro-gay punk rock priest.

Also, he is still kind of shitty to nuns.

BE MOAR BETTER NEW POPE.

[Joe.My.God]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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