Vegans, so annoying! If you want to be a vegetarian and come to my house for dinner, I can work with that! I can rustle up some hearty beets and whatnot, and I can feed you something tasty and nice, because of how I will put cheese on it! (Yes, even the beets.) But if you are vegan and come to my house for dinner, I cannot feed you, because you suck. Even more annoying than when vegans try to come to your house for dinner though is when vegans don't take their dehydrated babies to the hospital when their pediatrician tells them to take their dehydrated babies to the hospital, because you are afraid the hospital might give your baby animal products. Sarah Anne Markham of Casselberry, Florida, why are you in jail "for" your "beliefs" (per Jacksonville station WAWS) (hahaha, we do not agree with their assessment, as we think this lady is in fact under arrest "for being a dick" and "endangering the life of her precious babby") today?

Well, Sarah Anne Markham's 12-day-old baby was sick, and the doctor said it was dehydrated, and gave Sarah Anne Markham medicine to give to her 12-day-old baby, but Sarah Anne Markham was like "naw doc, there is beef tallow or something in this here medicine, so no thank you" and did not give the baby the medicine but instead gave it soy formula because it was "better" than what the doctor prescribed because it was from Whole Foods.

When a police officer asked Markham if she had confirmed with a doctor that the Whole Foods formula was safe for her baby, she replied that she didn’t need to. Whole Foods wouldn’t sell it if it wasn’t organic or contained animal-derived ingredients, she said.

Under pressure from police, Markham finally agreed to take the baby to Florida South, but only, she said, because they were forcing her to.

Then she didn't, so they broke in with a locksmith and arrested her and she was like cool whatevs, I'm a fucking hippie.

Police told WKMG that Markham displayed a blithe, “carefree” attitude as she was driven to jail, even though officers explained to her that she would not see her baby again until after a trial, if then.

Markham bonded out of jail the same day. Her baby is currently in state custody.

Jesus, this woman is worse than Hitler.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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