Very Nice, Helpful McDonald's Helpline Lady Explains To Employee How To Grift Off The Government


Meet Nancy. Nancy has worked at McDonald's for 10 years, but she cannot feed her children, because "$8.25 an hour," and also probably just a terrible person we are guessing. It is even possible, though she doesn't say so, that she is such a bad mother she would sign her kids up for a free school breakfast, in which case, we should probably put her children in foster care, because of how we love Jesus.

But is there help for Nancy? Is there ever! She called the McDonald's "helpline," and the very nice lady there told her to grift her some Medicaid and SNAP! Why is that helpful lady at the McDonald's helpline giving free advertising to Dictator Obama's Food Stamps and Socialism Emporium To Make Us All Slaves? Dunno. She is probably on Nobummer's payroll.

We have had many, many, many Orange County Republicans tell us over the years that there should a) not be a minimum wage because minimum wage makes workers go hungry (science fact) but b) if we have to have a minimum wage, like, if we are gonna be so dumb and bleedyheart about it, there should be a subminimum wage for fast food workers, because all the workers there are high school students. That always struck us as odd, because McDonald's somehow, mysteriously, manages to remain open during school hours.

But those Orange County Republicans are obviously right. We must not burden the job creators with a livable wage for their taker employees, because that is Theft from the makers. Instead, the government should step in and help those who need it most: the McDonald's corporation, and Walmart, who are obviously just squeaking by.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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