'But please hang on to that sex lube!' - WonketteJust a week after our bold crusade to make the TSA idiots let us bring coffee on the plane again, everyone in America is suddenly free to bring coffee on the plane again!


A tale of incredible patriotic victory, after the jump.

Heimat-Sicherheit Einsatzgruppen held a press conference at Reagan National this morning to announce the thrilling news.

"We now know enough to say that a total ban is no longer needed from a security point of view," TSA boss Kip Hawley said. "Thanks to the patriots at Wonkette, we now realize the no-coffee thing was just more of our pointless fear-mongering."

Hawley didn't actually say that last part, but he felt it, in his heart.

As we explained last week, the whole coffee prohibition was a total joke, because the entire Terror iPod Gatorade Bomb Plot was a total joke.

Sadly, this is not a total victory. You can only bring your coffee or water or whatever if you bought it after the terror checkpoint. And that's great news for the lucky airport shops on the "safe side."

While $4 cups of coffee had been tragically dumped both before and after the TSA checkpoints, even during the latest scare you were welcome to carry sex lube and breast milk aboard. (In fact, one Wonkette editor bravely poured his $9 margarita into a child's sippy cup last week when his plane was suddenly on time, and nobody cared at all.)

U.S. Lets Liquids Bought Beyond Checkpoints on Planes [Bloomberg]

U.S. to relax air travel restrictions [AP]

TSA To Ease Onboard Liquid Ban. Why? Did The Terrorist Threat End? [JABBS]

EARLIER: TSA Sez 'Don't Forget the Lube!'

Can We Please Bring Our Damned Coffee On the Plane Again, Idiots?



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