Virginia Remembers Jesus's Words, 'Suffer The Little Children To Come Unto Me,' Unless The Little Children Are Messican


Hey, y'all hear about this burgeoning crisis of little children sent by their anguished, desperate parents alone to America? If your sole source of news is this here Wonket, you didn't, because "unaccompanied minors flooding into the nation by the thousands and then getting locked in tiny baby jails" is not easily festooned with dick jokes.

Well, it's been bubbling up for a while now, we can only assume because Big Chief Kenyan sent out a telepathic message calling all his fellow foreign brown people to flood the heartland. And flood it they have! Why, even the Real Murica that is Virginia is inundated with these small scary monsters, and the Good ChristiansTM there are none too pleased!

Over 1,000 angry residents of the small, rural town here gathered at Brunswick High School on Thursday and reamed out local, state, and federal government officials for offering the St. Paul’s College building as temporary emergency shelter for 500 unaccompanied alien children (UAC’s) coming from Texas. St. Paul’s, a historically black college, shut down five years ago after losing its accreditation.

“Right now we have a town — I can go home. I can get supper. At 9 o'clock at night I can come back to my office by myself go in there and do work, come out at 11:30 get in my car and never worry about being harmed. I can’t do that anymore if y’all come,” said Pam Thomas. “You can’t put them over there and it’s not a prison anymore. It’s a closed facility.”

Oh shit. The babies gonna rape, murder, rape-murder, and rape-murder-throw-in-a-ditch this lady! Time to get a gun, lady. Brown babies coming atcha!

Listen up, "Health" and "Human" "Services" jerks, the good people of Virginia don't want you putting the brown babies in baby jail. Oh, wait, let us clarify: they don't want you putting the brown babies in baby jail in their town.

Jesus never said anything about helping homeless children.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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