Vote, Gamer!

usefulgameWe've always thought that the best idea for a video game about politics would be a first-person shooter. But, no, most people are like, "You'll encourage violence," or "Someone will get sued," or "Why don't just walk over to the Secret Service headquarters now to save them the time for when you finally lose your marbles, Miss Hinkley." Still, we knew that eventually some bright game designer would come around; who knew it would be very own sponsor, pitches it as a way to determine "who you should vote for" -- Ha! Like anyone votes anymore. What it's really about is pretending to kill the stereotypes that annoy you the most. You know: "Soccer Mom" or "Hunter Guy" (who, thankfully, can't shoot back)? Some of the choices seem rigged, but if you really choose to shoot the "French Internationalist" over "KKK Guy," only you and your computer will know. (But the computer may think less of you.) Other choices are real head-scratchers: "Hate America Guy" or "Flag Waving Patriot"? "Useless Professor" or "Shady Businessman"? Aw, do I have to choose?

As for its utility to the old people who still vote: Let's face it, if you don't know who you're going to vote for by now, you should just flip a coin -- and vote for Nader if the coin gets snatched up by a cackling former consumer rights crusader in a stained suit. But no matter what your feelings about the 2004 election, everyone can enjoy shooting hippies.

The Video-Game Version of the Election [Wonkette]

Useful Voter Guide: Are You A Democrat Or A Republican? []


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