If You Wanted To Watch Stacey Abrams Testify To Congress Today, You Are The Luckiest Duck!

Live on WonkTV!

Today, the Senate Judiciary Committee is holding a hearing called Jim Crow 2021: The Latest Assault on the Right to Vote, and we know we here at WonkTV are always like "hey watch this hearing" and "hey here is a livestream of some goats we found on the internet," because that's how committed to journalism we are.

But you will probably want to actually watch this hearing if you are able, because Stacey Abrams is one of the people testifying. She is your hero. Do you pray to a picture of Stacey Abrams each and every night? You should probably see somebody about that if so, doesn't sound healthy to us, but we agree that she is pretty damn cool and one of the most important people in America fighting to preserve everyone's right to vote.

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Class War

Conservatives: When We Said Corporations Are People, We Didn’t Mean They Could Disagree With Us

Leopards, faces, you know the drill.

For decades, conservatives have been on the side of big business. They have extolled the virtues of a free market system and insisted that government regulation of any kind was unnecessary because corporations are already regulated by market forces. Discrimination laws were unnecessary because if people didn't like businesses that discriminated against others, those businesses would lose out to businesses that didn't discriminate. Everything that happened with business, within the free market, was something that was supposed to happen. And the only reason there were ever any problems was because the market was not free enough to self-regulate.

They have insisted that corporations, like any American citizen, ought to have the right to free speech, and that money counts as speech, and so therefore ginormous PACs should be able to campaign on behalf of candidates they like. They shouldn't be forced not to pollute the environment, they shouldn't be forced to ensure their workplaces are safe, they shouldn't be forced to pay their workers a minimum wage.

And this all seemed very good to them, because they believed that they would always benefit from this. Anyone who would criticize such a system, surely, was but an evil communist who resented the success of others.

But the system is starting to turn on them and they're not singing the praises of the free market so much anymore. Because when they said "corporations are people" they meant "corporations are people who agree with us."

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Vote suppression

Mitch McConnell: Did I Do That?

He is very sorry he told Corporate Daddies to shut their stupid fucking mouths.

On second thought, Mitch McConnell has decided that corporations are good, actually, and the Senate minority leader dearly hopes that they will continue making contributions to Republicans, in Jesus's name, AMEN.

It all started Monday, when McConnell took to the microphone to excoriate corporations for mildly tut-tutting about the wave of voter suppression laws being shoved through by Republican legislatures to make sure they can continue to get elected despite the will of their own electorates.

"My advice to the corporate CEOs of America is to stay out of politics. Don't pick sides in these big fights," he said, like a man who hasn't courted big business his entire career.

"Corporations will invite serious consequences if they become a vehicle for far-Left mobs to hijack our country from outside the constitutional order," he added.

Not for nothing, but when Republicans howl about corporations doing cancel cultures to their First Amendment rights, they are extremely full of shit — the First Amendment only applies to government restraint on speech. But this shit right here, this explicit threat to use congressional power to sanction American corporations for expressing their disapproval of legislation, is literally totally illegal.

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