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Voters Simply Don't Care For Callista Gingrich, Who Is Not Running For Anything

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Why do pollsters do polls about candidates' spouses? They just sort of stand there, on the trail, smiling, and then if the candidate wins they may launch some benign PR initiative, like recommending good nutrition and exercise for children. In other words, they poll candidates' spouses because they're extremely important figures who could end up indoctrinating our children! And Callista "Cally" Gingrich, according tothe latest PPP poll, has an 18% favorability rating. It seems there's quite a bit of jealousy out there among the 82% of American voters who haven't had the pleasure of marrying Newt Gingrich yet.


Republican first lady candidates Karen Santorum and Ann Romney are still relatively unknown, but at least they manage to keep a positive net favorability rating despite being married to horribly unfavorable human-dildo husbands:

-Michelle Obama has a 54/34 favorability rating, compared to her husband's 48/48 approval.

-Ann Romney has a 31/22 favorability rating, compared to her husband's 33/58.

-Karen Santorum has a 31/27 favorability rating, compared to her husband's 36/53.

ON THE OTHER HAND:

-Callista Gingrich is actually pretty unpopular, with an 18/44 favorability rating. But it's at least better than her husband's 28/61.

When will Robert De Niro apologize for conducting this poll?

[PPP]

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This weekend, hundreds of people are gathering in Denver, Colorado for the 2018 Flat Earth Conference -- two whole days of people with suspiciously Andy Warhol-like hair yelling "Where's the curve?!?" and talking about ice walls -- and we are missing out! Flat earthers are kind of the best of all conspiracy theorists, because aside from a few fascists and anti-Semites in the mix, they are mostly harmless cranks who just want to feel like they are way smarter than all of the scientists. As far as I know, believing in a Flat Earth, while stupid, has never hurt anyone -- which is honestly kind of refreshing these days!

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Every so often on this here internet, we get a hate read that is so perfect, that so aptly encapsulates a particular form of douchebaggery that we all must collectively gasp at it's awfulness and revel in the general repulsiveness of the arrogant human being so lacking in self-awareness that they actually thought it would be a good idea to write such a thing. Today, I bring you such a hate read -- Matthew Binder's A Glimpse Into the Ideological Monoculture of Literary New York.

And yes, it's actually worse than it sounds, if that is possible.

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