This somewhat unconventionally coifed gentleman is David Lory VanDerBeek, Nevada's Constitution Party candidate for Governor in 2014. In addition to failing to win election to the U.S. Senate in 2012, he has posted several very long videos to YouTube, and we have watched two of them so you won't have to (we kind of gave up at the prospect of watching his Sandy Hook Truther video, however). In the video above, he explains that Barack Obama is exactly like Hitler, which he proves by explaining that Hitler did a number of things to seize and consolidate power in Nazi Germany, and then showing how all the things that Barack Obama is going to do real soon are exactly like what Hitler did. The parallels are uncanny. He prays that we can avoid the coming second civil war, but he has a gun and a stiffy just in case.

Mr. VanDerBeek is also rather certain that the brave stances he takes, such as being "the only major political leader in the U.S. willing to ask real questions about Sandy Hook" and standing up to the secret societies of the New World Order, place him in constant danger -- on his 2012 campaign website, he warns government intelligence agents who "monitor us for your masters" that they need to

go back and tell them we are not your slaves. Your reign of error is over. The day of the patriot is here. I am right here. You are used to killing men like me. Well, here I am and you will fail. You were failures from the beginning.

See? He loves America so much, so very much, that he is willing to sacrifice everything, because that's just what a good Mormon family man would do for his country.

He also wants to put a LOT of people in prison for treason, starting with Barack Hussein Obama of course, but also including "every Congress member ... that voted for the NDAA which was treason" as well as "Bilderberg, CFR, and Bohemian Grove," for a start (that promise is from a "meet the candidate" profile from the 2012 Senate race. He nevertheless received nearly 49,000 votes).

Mr. VanDerBeek believes that all terrorist attacks on the U.S. have been staged by the government so it can strip citizens of their rights. He believes that the TSA is exactly like the Gestapo, and as an example, he presents the story of Texas (yes, we know) State Troopers who performed a gross roadside cavity search on two women, as documented on Wonkette! He believes that, just as the Gestapo attracted sadists, modern law enforcement attracts a bunch of perverts, and the whole thing is just really enough to drive a good man to... to... to speak out so that he won't have to take drastic action:

I'm tying to be civil about this. I don't want to become a cold-blooded killer of police officers. I really don't want to do that.

We think that "I don't want to become a cold-blooded killer of police officers" would make an excellent campaign slogan.

Actually, it is almost touching how he appears to have just discovered -- during the Obama administration, coincidentally -- that law enforcement sometimes attracts sociopathic bullies, and that cops often cover up the misdeeds of other cops. Do you suppose he's heard about how self-aggrandizing narcissists with a tenuous grasp on reality often become perennial minor-party candidates who issue challenges to national leaders?

In this one, VanDerBeek lays out the innumerable (25) crimes for which Barack Obama must be tried, like BENGHAZIFASTANDFURIOUSACORNNDAA, plus the novel notion that lying about being the gay sekrit love child of Frank Marshall Davis is a criminal offense. Needless to say, he again recognizes the huge risk he is taking:

If I die standing up to you, it will not be meaningless... Maybe I'll be thrown in jail and no one will protest. Maybe I'll be murdered and no one will care.

Or maybe he'll make a bunch of long, incoherent videos that people will laugh at.

He also makes a pretty awesome campaign promise: When he is Governor of Nevada, he will give clemency and protection to any members of the Mafia who come forward with evidence of Obama's crimes. It's a start, right? Perhaps because he knows his audience, VanDerBeek takes an admirably strong stance against assassinating Barack Obama, mainly because he wants him to rot in jail for his treason, but also because Obama does not deserve to have the chance to be a martyr.

VanDerBeek builds to a peroration worthy of Obi-Wan Kenobi:

The longer you ignore me, the stronger I'll grow. The more you oppose me, the more you'll expose yourself. The more you hurt me, the more the American people will see you for the piece of gutter trash you are.

You will also be very, very surprised to learn that Mr. VanDerBeek is worried about flouride. And vaccinations. And chemtrails. But he does trust Dr. Jerome Corsi, PhD and Alex Jones.

It's almost as if a supercomputer took a compilation of the craziest stuff it could find and vomited out a synthetic, computer-generated simulacrum of a gubernatorial candidate, isn't it? That might explain the hair.


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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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