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Dana Boente is the general counsel for the FBI, handpicked for that position by FBI Director Chris Wray. In the past year and a half, Boente has also been the US attorney for the Eastern District of Virginia, the acting attorney general, and the acting DEPUTY attorney general. (And a spaceman and a fairy princess and a clown and a cowboy and a drag queen and your mom's best friend Carol, who always has such good advice!) He's also the guy whom Barack Obama, in one of his last acts as president, mysteriously removed from the line of succession at the Department of Justice, seemingly out of the blue. We have long suspected Obama did this to fuck with Donald Trump, who is such a fucking baby he will yell "OPPOSITE DAY!" at anything Obama ever did, in order to keep a good patriot in place to oversee the various Russia investigations, something Boente has done quite a lot of in his many jobs. And if we're right about that, mission accomplished, because even though Boente has been shuffled around, Trump did add him back into the line of succession in one of his first acts as president, even if he later asked him to resign as US attorney at EDVA, for reasons that are still very unclear. The point is that Boente is still around, which is quite a feat for a guy who was originally a Deep State Barry Bamz appointee.


Boente is also one of the James Comey confidants who took careful notes when Comey would call and say, "Dana! Bro-seph! Trump just tried to grab me by the pussy in the Oval and get me to stop the Russia investigation! He won't stop bothering me and this is all bad and wrong! Hold me closer, Dana Boente!" In other words, Boente is a corroborating witness in the obstruction of justice probe against the president.

Rachel Maddow broke some news about Boente on Tuesday night. For one thing, she revealed that Boente was asked by the Robert Mueller investigators to appear as a witness in said obstruction of justice probe. (The Washington Post confirms that Boente indeed did such an interview.) Maddow also has gotten her hands on what seem to be the handwritten notes Boente wrote during or just after his conversations with Comey, and whoa hey, it would appear Comey told Congress the truth about his conversations with Trump, and Trump is a big fucking liar who lied about those very same conversations. Can you believe that one?

During Maddow's show last night, she rolled tape on Comey's testimony to Congress, where Comey 'splained that on March 30, 2017, during the few weeks when Boente was acting deputy attorney general in charge of the Russia investigation (because Jeff Sessions had just recused his Country Time Lemonade-stained britches!), he called Boente to tell him about his latest fucked up encounter with Trump, who kept telling him there was a big stinky poot "cloud" over his presidency, so please stop investigating RIGHT NOW. Comparing Boente's notes with Comey's testimony, it is weird how they look and sound the same!

Now, that is a lot of chicken-scratching, but those notes say things like "cloud as a result of Russia business" and "what can I do to relieve cloud." Here's that Rachel Maddow video from last night, of Comey testifying to Congress:

Do you see how they are all the same? (If you don't have time to watch the video, trust us when we say IT IS ALL THE SAME!) FBI and DOJ people like Comey, Boente and all their friends have a habit of taking really good notes, specifically because there will be situations that come up where it's very useful for them to have a contemporaneous account of that time the Manchurian dipshit president from the stupidest ring of hell tried to use them to obstruct justice.

Robert Mueller has Boente's notes, and you already know he has all of Comey's memos, because Comey is a motherfucker who writes some motherfuckin' memos. It is just so very truly shocking to have this new confirmation that Donald Trump, who lies a lot, is a big liar, and that James Comey, despite his many faults, tells the truth. Who could have ever predicted?

By the by, James Comey's book is about to come out, and he's hitting the media circuit to promote it. He'll be on the Maddow show soon, and he reportedly just taped a FIVE HOUR INTERVIEW with ABC News. Funny that this is all happening just as Trump is about to throw his presidency in the trash by doing whatever he can to Saturday Night Massacre the Mueller investigation.

Bet Comey will be REALLY SHY about telling us all how he really feels about what's going on right now, and oh MAN, that's gonna make the orange shitweasel mad! Set your DVRs!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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The Church of Scientology had some thoughts about Our Robyn's piece, Who Wants To Watch A Creepy White Guy Rap About Scientology? We had some thoughts about their thoughts.

Thanks for writing in, Scientology! As you doubtless realized when you didn't demand we take down our story, but requested it instead, our opinions of your weird cult and that poor young man's rap skills are protected by the First Amendment. (I learned about libel law in college and grad school but also on the job: I was in newspapers so long that I was actually colleagues with Tony Ortega -- about whom you sound quite "venomous" and "biased" -- at the very same newspaper chain you can't believe he defended! Next up, please show your due diligence by talking trash about a woman you didn't know was my mom.)

Also, a lot of your former members say on the record that you kidnap people, and stalk them, and harass them, and sometimes beat them up good, and I request that if so, fucking stop it.

The rest of you click the headline, if you want your OPEN THREAD.

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Monday's Trump-Putin press conference landed on the entire free world like a hot treason-shaped turd, didn't it? Congressional Republicans have been saying mean things about it on Twitter, and even Fox News has been less than 100% supportive! The White House communications department obviously knew it had a crisis on its hands, what with how it's generally considered inappropriate for the leader of the free world to get on all fours in front of the Russian president and wag his tail and slobber with anticipation while he awaits his next marching orders. WOMP WOMP, etc.

So the comms department typed up a thing for the president to read aloud today at the beginning of his meeting with members of Congress, about how he was VERY SORRY he said one word incorrectly during the Putin presser. That's right, only one word of that whole fucking shitshow was wrong. All the rest of his traitor words were exactly what he meant to say.

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