Waitress-Slapping Drunken Governor's Secret Midnight Oath

I did not slap around and threaten to kill that waitress - WonketteJim Gibbons was already famous for being a do-nothing Nevada congressman who routinely spouted asinine nonsense and basically threatened to kill a Vegas cocktail waitress just before the midterm elections that bizarrely put him in the governor's mansion, but we can now add "paranoid schizophrenic" to his long list of personal problems.

"Citing unspecified security concerns," the rat-eyed Republican was sworn in as the New Year arrived Monday at 12 a.m. -- in the living room of his house in the grim Reno suburb of Sparks. (UPDATE: Sparks native Gibbons has apparently abandoned his grim hometown for some McMansion in Reno proper.) This couldn't be any weirder if Michael Jackson, Liza Minelli and that dwarf from "Twin Peaks" were on hand.

Let's catch up with the scumsack, after the jump.

So what prompted the midnight secret ceremony?

Gibbons issued a statement saying that while state agencies "know of no credible threat, recent world events and New Year's celebrations raise the potential for problems during Nevada's first government transition since the terror attacks of 9-11. Nevadans should be assured that their leaders are in place, ready for any emergency."

Gibbons spokesman Brent Boynton said "recent world events" was a reference to the execution of former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein.

Hooray! A delusional psychotic will be governor of one of America's fastest growing states.

Outgoing Republican governor Kenny Guinn was pretty much liked by everybody because he's a decent, sane human who governed with quiet competence. Nobody will ever say that about violent dingbat Jim Gibbons. (Guinn refused to endorse Dingbat Drunky McGibbons, for a hundred obvious reasons.)

Gibbons' cop cronies totally cleared him of sexually assaulting and threatening to murder a waitress he got drunk with in Vegas on October 13. The waitress he bitch-slapped claimed surveillance video cameras in the parking garage would prove her story was true.

For weeks, the building owners (friends of Gibbons) claimed the relevant cameras were all mysteriously broken. Eventually, the video reportedly surfaced. But the Vegas cops took care of Gibbons by claiming none of the footage showed the married Gibbons drunkenly propositioning the waitress and then knocking her to the concrete and threatening to have her chopped up and dumped in Lake Mead.

To be fair, Gibbons always claimed (until he changed his story, repeatedly) that he was only helping the staggering drunk waitress to her vehicle, so she could drunkenly drive home and kill innocent people.

He also hasn't been punished for various other felonies, including employing illegal aliens for many years (Gibbons is a frothing anti-Mexican politician) and handing out federal contracts to all his redneck buddies in Northern Nevada.

Oh, and he hasn't shown up on the Hill in months, yet he still collected all the money.

In other words, Gibbons in '08!

Citing unspecific security concerns , Gibbons takes governor oath at midnight [Reno Gazette Journal]

Earlier: Bad Month To Be Jim Gibbons

Rape, Murder, It's Just a Shot Away

Candidates, Please Drink At Home Until After Election Day


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