WALNUTS! Is Winning Everything, Run!

mccainphone.jpgFormer torture victim John McCain, following his latest win in New Hampshire, has SURGED to a big lead in recent national polls. Hooray! How does that Beach Boys song go again? Bomb bomb bomb...


In the new ABC News/Washington Post poll, WALNUTS! enjoys an eight point lead over Mike "Gates of Hell" Huckabee, 28% to 20%, with Romney at 19% and Giuliani at 15%. That's right -- Giuliani is in fourth place nationally now! Haha, everyone point at Lispy McDeath and laugh!

Oh that was good. Anyway, in the new CBS News/NY Times poll, McCain leads Huckabee 33% to 18%.

Conservatives, of course, actively hate John McCain for campaign finance reform, opposing the tax cuts, his dislike of torture and affinity for Mexicans. Think that torture part is exaggerated? Listen in on National Review Online's stupid, fugly editor, Kathryn-Jean Lopez:

I'm second to none in praising him on his surge leadership. But on a whole host of issues -- including water boarding, tax cuts, and the freedom of speech -- he's not one of us.

So water boarding is part of the Republican platform now? Clearly John McCain cannot be the candidate; his anti-torture deal would just have too much crossover appeal. Con sarn it, he might even win!

Fluidity in G.O.P. Race; Democrats Eye Electability [NYT]

McCain Moves Into Lead; Obama Gains on Clinton [WP]

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