Wannabe Texas Governor Greg Abbott Declares Himself Great Feminist, Unlike Dumb Old Wendy Davis
Who is the best feministever? Why, it is Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott (R-Of course), who would like to be Republican gubernatorial nominee to lose to Wendy Davis, once Rick Perry oopses his way out of office. And boy -- sorry, girl -- does he have a real good reason. It is because he is excellent news for the ladies:
"Women are going to be a powerful voice in this election," Abbott said. "I'm proud to say there is nobody in the state of Texas who has done more to fight to help women than I have in the past decade."
If you are scratching your head trying to figure out what in the wide, wide world of sports he is talking about, let's review his stellar record of fighting for women!
- There was that time he compared Planned Parenthood to a terrorist organization, because nothing helps women more than defunding their health care.
- There was that time he sued the Obama administration over the contraception mandate because birth control makes Jesus cry.
- There was that time one of his supporters tweeted that he "would absolutely demolish idiot @WendyDavisTexas in Gov race" and teach "Retard Barbie" a lesson, and instead of feministsplaining that Harvard-educated Wendy Davis is neither an idiot nor a retard nor a Barbie, he tweeted back "thanks for your support."
- There was that time one of his top advisers, Dave Carney, tweeted that Wendy Davis is "too Stupid" to be governor, and Abbott immediately and publicly shamed his adviser and insisted that he does not hold that view and demanded that Carney apologize and -- just kidding! Neither Abbott nor his campaign had any response.
So yeah. With a record like that, it's obvious Greg Abbott is the choice for women in Texas. The last choice, that is.