War On Christmas Ends For Another Year
Well, we hope that everyone out in Wonketteland had a lovely holiday regardless of the deities to which you ascribe your religion. And, we're similarly glad that the War on Christmas meme has slunk back to whatever dark and fetid cave from which it crawled to bother us. The media can now move on to covering whatever new low-priority distraction comes down the pike. For our part, we gave ourselves the three greatest Christmas gifts the world had to offer this Yuletide 2005: Canadian band Stars' version of the greatest Christmas song ever: "Fairytale of New York", delectable Kung Pao Scallops, and the heaven-sent sight of Naomi Watts aglow at the Uptown in Cleveland Park.
In the War on Christmas, there were no winners because for all but the most retarded members of our society, there was nothing whatsoever at stake. In considering the vast history of Christianity and the dire trials its adherents faced in the past (and still do in far-flung places on the globe), it's a little hard to feel for people whose freely-practicable faith is rocked to its firmament because the shopgirl at Restoration Hardware doesn't break into a spontaneous chorus of "O Holy Night" at the completion of every tendered transaction.
It's also worth remembering that many of those outraged at the capitalist friendly "Happy Holiday" greeting masquerade themselves the other eleven months out of the year as the avatars of personal responsibility. So, next year, my angry little fellows of little faith, maybe you should spend more of the holiday season making your own Christmas cheer instead of expecting everyone around you to make it for you. You won't get fed to lions, so you've already been met more than halfway.
Now, let's all enjoy the six remaining days that jackass Bill O'Reilly has to wish everyone a Happy Hanukkah to avoid being a total hypocrite.— DCEIVER