Donate

War On Christmas Started By Hitler, Because of Advent Calendars

News

Every year about this time, the nation opens the "advent calendars" of its secret CIA prisons all over the world to say "hi" to the people always plotting against us by waging a War on Christmas. But did you know that the War On Christmas did not start in CIA murder-torture prisons,but actually in Nazi Germany? When you open the little cardboard door to "get a chocolate," what are you really getting? An important Christian writer explains how Hitler is really behind this whole Advent thing, and why we need to be stronger in our resolve as far as destroying Advent calendars everywhere, because of Hitler.


We want to be more proactive, like Fox News, so we are basically making this whole "Hitler started Christmas" idea in hopes that the hysteria will spread. But as always, there is a kernel of truth behind the story of how Christmas is little more than a pro-Hitler celebration. Just read these facts we read on the Internet just now:

After the First World War, Advent calendars were “demilitarized,” and docile animals replaced drawings of cannons and toy solders. But “Hitler quickly co-opted the calendars,” says Ms. Peschel. Nazi symbols were substituted for Christian ones: swastika-clad children building snowmen and Nazi soldiers enshrined within Advent wreaths.

(For a very special War On Xmas gift for, say, Bill O'Reilly or some such airbag, consider an actual Hitler Nazi Advent Calendar!)

Imagine the nerve of this Hitler (and the Kaiser!), using the innocence of children's Jesus chocolates behind little game show prize doors to make them worship the military and war and indiscriminate killing of perceived enemies from other faiths. Imagine!

Knowing that Hitler was a general in the War on Christmas — replacing the religious symbols — is fascinating.

You know who else thought that "knowing that Hitler was a general in the War on Christmas" was "fascinating"? That's right ... Mr. Spock. [GetReligion.org/A Nazi Advent]

$
Donate with CC

I wasn't ready for Koko the gorilla to die. She was just 46, so still young well past the upper age limit for a gorilla, but I'll miss her. She loved cats, told mildly amusing jokes, and put up with people, so she was a lot like your weird aunt.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

Donald Trump held one of his televised cabinet meetings today in which he railed about the terrible Democrats who forced the current border crisis (at a time when illegal border crossings are actually lower than usual). In what's sure to be his favorite phrase on Twitter for the next few days, Trump blamed "extremist open-border Democrats" for all the problems he brought on himself with his family separation policy, and explained that Democrats were simultaneously hurting illegal immigrants AND the rest of America by forcing Normal America to accept Central Americans who fled to the US. It made loads of sense! And then things got ... less so.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

SINGLE & MONTHLY DONATIONS

SUPPORT THE CAUSE - PAYPAL DONATION

PAYPAL RECURRING DONATIONS

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc