White House

WH Flacks Insist Donald Trump Loves Troops Most Donald Trump Loves Troops Most Donald T

Talk about losers and suckers.

Following the publication yesterday of Jeffrey Goldberg's Atlantic story about how Donald Trump is a jerk who thinks US soldiers are all idiots and that military cemeteries are full of losers, the Trumposphere leapt into motion. In its usual clumsy attempts to defend the indefensible, the White House pointed out that since Goldberg's story was based on anonymous sources, it was almost certainly false, because why won't these sources come forward to face the wrath of the angriest cult of personality in American political history? Here's White House spokesungulate Judd Deere, waggling his horns at you:

And please never mind that both the Associated Press and the Washington Post were able to quickly confirm Goldberg's accounts of horrible things Trump has said, because those stories also relied on unnamed sources. Oddly enough, though, for all the Trumpenvolk insisting Donald Trump is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful troop supporter they've ever known, there was a distinct non-outpouring of support from one corner: We haven't yet seen military folks gushing about how wonderful Trump has been to them.

Now, active-duty folks are aren't allowed to get political, for good reason, but we aren't yet seeing any wave of retired generals or admirals coming forward to speak up for Trump. And of course, it was a "senior Defense Department official" who confirmed to the AP's Jim LaPorta that Goldberg's story was true "in its entirety."

No, if nutball Mike Flynn pops up to say the story was false, that won't count.

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2020 presidential election

Should We Freak Out Yet? Your Postal Service Fuckery Roundup ​​​​​

All is well! Assume crash positions! Remain calm!

Yesterday, Donald Trump openly acknowledged on Fox Business that he doesn't want emergency funding for the US Postal Service, because then it could more easily handle an expected increase in voting by mail, and how is letting people vote safely during a pandemic even fair? That episode of saying the loud part even louder set off a lot of Oh Look It's Totalitarianism alarm bells, for good reason, since Trump is pretty openly having his pet postmaster general, GOP donor Louis DeJoy, dismantle and slow down the postal infrastructure, to make the USPS more "efficient" and "cost effective." Let's take a look at the latest horrors, along with one expert's sorta-good news: Fuck with the Post Office at your own risk, Mr. Trump.

And what can YOU do to stop this shit? Request your ballot well in advance, and if your local elections office has a drop box, get the ballot to 'em that way if you can. If you need to stay home because of health concerns, request a ballot as soon as you can and return your completed vote in the mail right after you receive it. And pester your electeds! It's the American way!

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2020 presidential election

OMG Kamala Harris Is An Antifa Socialist Cop From Wall Street!

Also, is she Black? Are you sure?

The moment Joe Biden announced Kamala Harris as his vice presidential pick, the reactions started coming in. Lots of congratulations from folks like Barack Obama ("Joe Biden nailed this decision. [...] She's spent her career defending our Constitution and fighting for folks who need a fair shake"), Elizabeth Warren ("I'm SO looking forward to seeing Kamala take on Mike Pence on the debate stage. Go Kamala!"), and House Majority Whip James Clyburn ("I am ecstatic. [...] I've been saying what a plus it would be to have an African-American woman on the ticket. I just think we are breaking ground here.")

Also, Luke Skywalker said this is the Veep we're looking for:

Our favorite reaction was probably from her younger sister:

OK, now that we've gotten the nice people's reactions out of the way, let's take a look at the jerks and laugh at how they can't figure out how to attack the lady they've known for months was in the top tier of likely running mates.

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Trump's Dreams Of Invading Chicago Dashed By Bill Barr, Federal Law, Reality

But he can have some 'surge,' as a treat.

Mean Bill Barr! President Bloodlust wants a race war, and Uncle Bill says "no." UNFAIR!

Ensconced in his Fox News bubble, Trump is apparently under the impression that sending the goon squad into Portland is going well, as opposed to galvanizing opposition to his administration and making local police departments look slightly less awful in comparison. It's an easy mistake to make when you spend literally half your waking hours bragging about a test for dementia which you "aced" two years ago.

The Daily Beast reports that there's been a battle playing out behind the scenes at the White House. On one side is the president, who wants to turn the streets of every Democratic city into a war zone. On the other said are his advisors, who may be stupid, but they're not crazy.

According to three people familiar with the president's private remarks, Trump previously envisioned an ostentatious, camera-ready show of force. He wanted to go after what he saw as violent gang leaders, flush them out of hiding in ways that would have them "shaking in their boots" like they never had before, and have alleged perpetrators marched out in front of the news cameras.

While Bill Barr waddles out to the podium promising to "surge" federal agents into American cities and show those cop-hating Democrats what's what, behind the scenes he's trying to talk Trump down from his wankfantasies of using federal troops to invade America. Which probably means that Portland-style occupations of Chicago, Detroit, and Baltimore are not in the cards. So thanks for that, Bill Barr, we guess.

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