Brian Kilmeade Saw In Durham Report Where Hillary's Russia Hoaxes Started Ukraine War, And He Is MAD
Stupidest person Fox News ever hired.
Most patriotic Americans likely assume Brian Kilmeade is the stupidest person employed by Fox News. You might have begun to feel this way in 2015 after Kilmeade, with the kind of dismay that only comes from intense confusion, expressed frustration that "they" were not able to clear the sharks out of the ocean on the days of big surfing competitions. We don't know if he thought maybe there might be some kind of VERY BIG net, or a Sharkie Daycare or something that they could go to.
KILMEADE! Stupid Fox News Idiots Confused Why Sharks Always Live In The Ocean So Much
In her video ticking through possibilities to replace Tucker Carlson, Kat Abughazaleh from Media Matters said Kilmeade is a "dial tone" with "nothing behind those eyes." If we saw that guy on "Celebrity Jeopardy!" we would call the cops on behalf of whatever charity he was playing for.
Out of all the Republican moron reactions to the Durham Report, Kilmeade's was one of the most interesting, for how sheerly convoluted it was. To review, the Durham Report was a flaming turd that proved nothing and wasted everyone's time. It's not even a good attempt at manufacturing a fake alternative facts drunk history to the Trump/Russia investigation that totally exonerates both Donald Trump and Russia. It feels like the shoddy product of an aging, rotting brain, which spent years fixating on whether MAYBE Russian intelligence was telling the truth when it said Hillary Clinton had invented the Trump/Russia hoax to distract from her emails.
Did Hillary really do that? Are the Russian intelligence services our real friends? That is the braindead halfwit goddamned stupid on its face conspiracy theory John Durham spent years investigating like it was real. (Bless his heart.)
And that, children, is the braindead halfwit goddamned stupid on its face conspiracy theory that apparently Brian Kilmeade has absorbed into his small brain as fact. And he thinks that because of it, Hillary Clinton is somehow responsible for Russia's war of genocidal aggression against Ukraine.
From yesterday's "Fox & Friends":
BRIAN KILMEADE: Evidently, they sat down and talked to James Baker, the Durham report. He was one of the few major players to talk to him. And they said. "You know Hillary Clinton launched this campaign, and do you know that John Brennan briefed President [Barack] Obama about this?" And Baker left the room emotional, came back, reportedly, and said essentially, "If I had known this, as the former general counsel to the FBI, I never would've supported this probe." Now, either he's an actor and a drama queen, or he actually means it.
Or it didn't happen and Brian Kilmeade is just a fucking moron again.
You may be shocked to learn that this is not what the Durham Report says happened. We don't know if somebody told Kilmeade the wrong thing or if he's just stupid. The person who became upset and emotional was another FBI agent, who is unnamed, and who seems like a real fuckin' dumbass. They didn't say they wouldn't have supported the probe, though. That's an addition to the text. We are not surprised, though, that this person would be Brian Kilmeade's favorite character. They are a total idiot, just like him.
Bet that guy would be mad about the sharks too.
To be clear, the "intelligence" we are talking about is the obvious Russian disinformation that Hillary had made up the Trump Russia hoax as a trick. This "intelligence" from the Russian security services was first declassified for partisan hack reasons by unfit then-acting Director of National Intelligence John Ratcliffe in September of 2020, in an effort to ratfuck the 2020 election.
It's funny how folks on that side are always crying into Putin's arms whenever they need help with something. Gonna include John Durham in that now, since he spent so much of his investigation apparently obsessed with this idiot-ass conspiracy theory.
KILMEADE: That Barack Obama gets briefed by John Brennan, Brennan doesn't brief the FBI and says, "Hey Hillary Clinton put you up to this. This is her idea to get everybody off the trail of her emails."
Literally not even the Russian disinfo version of the conspiracy theory says that. Fucking dipshit.
John Ratcliffe's letter said, "The IC does not know the accuracy of this allegation or the extent to which the Russian intelligence analysis may reflect exaggeration or fabrication." Meanwhile Kilmeade is over here doing armpit farts and giggling and saying John Brennan should have briefed the FBI and said, "Hey Hillary Clinton put you up to this!"
KILMEADE: Hillary Clinton later admits to this, and they got fined like $20,000. $20,000.
She did not admit to this, Kilmeade appears to be hallucinating. In interviews with the Durham investigation, Hillary Clinton actually called this conspiracy theory "really sad," but added, "I get it. You have to go down every rabbit hole." LOL.
KILMEADE: Do you know what you did to the country? And you could even say on some level you have launched the Ukraine-Russia war
Could you, though?
KILMEADE: Because we were able to — the, President Trump was unable to have any relationship with Vladimir Putin, as diabolical as he is. Do not tell me that didn't hurt us, our relationship with Russia and ability to possibly stop what we've seen now. The death and carnage over in Ukraine.
Yes, Donald Trump was sadly unable to have any relationship with Vladimir Putin. All the times when we saw Trump with his tongue up Putin's ass, it was extremely impersonal, because of what Hillary had done to their relationship.
Anyway, do not tell Brian that the imaginary strings he just pulled out of his own butt are not real, and that the death and the carnage in Ukraine are not Hillary's fault. He won't believe you. He knows about people like YOU.
In summary and in conclusion, here is Brian Kilmeade saying "NICE TRY, VIKINGS," about how the Vikings "tried to screw us up" and make us think Greenland was green and Iceland was icy.
\u201cBrian Kilmeade: "If we could just get Greenland, everything else will be easy." \n\nSteve Doocy: "I heard Iceland."\n\nAinsley Earhardt: "Iceland's the one that's green, and Greenland's the one that's cold."\n\nKilmeade: "Right. The vikings tried to screw us up. Nice try, vikings."\u201d— Bobby Lewis (@Bobby Lewis) 1566480740
Four years later and that is still, boy howdy, wow.
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I would like a BlueSky invite.
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Elon Musk Has Some Thoughts About This One Jew
Just another very normal evening for the world's richest shitposter.
Billionaire shitposter and waste of perfectly good atoms Elon Musk has a clear moral outlook, which is that Elon Musk is the smartest person who ever lived and therefore just about the most important person on Planet Earth. Ergo, anything that's good for Elon Musk is good for the world, while anything that's bad for Elon Musk is bad for the world. So it stands to reason that Musk would be awfully peeved after news broke that billionaire investor George Soros sold off all of his stock in Tesla, the electric car company Musk owns and occasionally gives thought to when he's not trying to make everyone on Twitter love him.
The most likely explanation for Soros's decision is that he'd bought lots of Tesla shares when the stock price was in freefall last year, and saw an opportunity to take some profits when the company's stock rebounded in the first quarter of this year. (Good call, too, since Tesla shares have fallen 11 percent in the last month.) The most likely explanation to Musk, apparently, is that Soros is a comic book supervillain.
Last night, with no context at all, Musk tweeted, "Soros reminds me of Magneto," a reference to the mutant Marvel nemesis of the Wolverine-Men. Because Twitter's algorithm has been janked to goose the Great Thinker's tweets, the tweet has been viewed well over 28 million times as I write this, and probably that'll be well over 35 million by the time I write another couple paragraphs. Update: Just after this post went up, it was already into long-tail territory, and still only at 30 million views. Never trust Wonkette!
That's not just comic-book nerdery of course, because George Soros is the go-to bad guy for whatever bug is up rightwingers' asses, with the HE'S A JEW!!!! part right out loud or comfortably left in the background, because antisemitic hate is kind of a given with references to how George Soros controls American and world politics somehow. At this point there might be two or three rightwingers out there who don't know that "Soros" is a stand-in for "The Jews control everything," but there's no way in the multiverse that Elon Goddamn Musk is unaware of that.
Brian Krassenstein, a guy on Twitter, pointed out to Musk that part of what makes Magneto an interesting supervillain is his backstory:
Fun fact: Magneto's experiences during the Holocaust as a survivor shaped his perspective as well as his depth and empathy. Soros, also a Holocaust survivor, get's attacked nonstop for his good intentions which some Americans think are bad merely because they disagree with this political affiliations.
To expand that for non-geeks, Magneto's experiences as a Jewish Holocaust survivor who saw his community wiped out convinced him that humans intended to commit genocide against superpowered mutant persons, and needed to be stopped by any means necessary. (Yes, that's an oversimplification, we know he can also be seen as an antihero and also has helped the X-Files Mans on occasion.) We'd also add that part of the rightwing hate focused on Soros is straight out of Russian propaganda, because he supported the democratic movement in Ukraine that ousted Putin's buddy Viktor Yanukovych. He's also regularly the target of smears from Hungary's Viktor Orban.
Musk, who apparently lacks the knack for subtlety that even comic superhero stories can manage, replied that no, Soros may actually be worse than the fictional Magneto:
You assume they are good intentions. They are not. He wants to erode the very fabric of civilization. Soros hates humanity.
So yeah, that's certainly how evil cartoon supervillains behave: They literally hate humanity and want to destroy civilization, because they're just plain evil, and you're a fool if you believe they have good intentions. We don't actually know of any real human beings who sought to end the world or destroy all civilization (even modern avatars of evil like Hitler, Stalin, and Pol Pot had definable political objectives other than "I hate humanity"). But sure, George Soros seeks to ruin everything, if you're a fucking antisemitic idiot who believes in conspiracy stories, which are also generally less plausible than many comic book plots.
There were a few souls who asked Musk just what the hell he was slobbering about this time, like former US Ambassador to Russia Michael McFaul, who doesn't believe in nonmetaphorical ghosts:
\u201c@elonmusk @krassenstein What data support this hypothesis? In the post communist world Soros has invested heavily in supporting civil society, the very people trying rebuild humanity after decades of communist inhumanity. (I\u2019m not an expert on his activities in other places.)\u201d— Elon Musk (@Elon Musk) 1684202551
What data support this hypothesis? In the post communist world Soros has invested heavily in supporting civil society, the very people trying rebuild humanity after decades of communist inhumanity. (I’m not an expert on his activities in other places.)
And then the Fox News addicts were all up in the replies with the news of how Soros has funded all the crime by sometimes supporting the campaigns of reformist district attorneys. Why? Because he loves criminals, as any supervillain does, duh. And the usual Musk-humping dipshits showed up to explain that anyone questioning Musk is clearly under the influence of George Soros's mind control, another prominent feature of superhero narratives.
Also too, for further context, some smartass went and pointed out that it's pretty weird that Musk is so frightened of the supposed world-changing influence of a guy who, sure, is a billionaire, but whose net worth ($6.7 billion) is a fraction not only of Musk's net worth ($176.9 billion, depending on what he's tweeting), but also a fraction of the $44 billion Musk paid to buy Twitter:
\u201cThe first guy is saying the second guy is too powerful\u201d— Thor Benson (@Thor Benson) 1684206585
Also also Musk last night went even more full on racist than usual, tweeting his approval of posts claiming that Black people are inexplicably violent and shouldn't be allowed to star in streaming series, the end.
[Forbes / Daily Beast / The Street]
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Zooey Zephyr's Taking The Bastards To Court
Nevertheless, she persists.
Montana state Rep. Zooey Zephyr, the state's first transgender lawmaker, isn't going to let Republicans in the Montana House of Representatives silence her. At least, not without a fight. Last week, you'll recall, the GOP supermajority voted to censure Zephyr for speaking up too transly against bills banning gender-affirming care and writing trans people out of Montana law. Rather than expelling her like the jerks in Tennessee did to their meddlesome Democrats, the Montana House barred Zephyr from the floor and hearing rooms of the Capitol until the legislative session ends later this week, preventing her from participating in debate while allowing her to vote, remotely and silently, and to watch the same public stream of House proceedings as anyone else can on the internet. So generous!
Montana Republicans Want In On That 'Expel Democrats' Thing That Worked So Well For Tennessee
Montana House Republicans Officially Punish Zooey Zephyr For Legislating While Trans
Monday, Zephyr, with help from the Montana ACLU, filed a lawsuit in state court asking for an emergency injunction returning her to the House floor for whatever days remain in the session, arguing that her First Amendment rights had been stomped on. The suit also names several of her constituents as plaintiffs, arguing that the House's action effectively denied them and the rest of Zephyr's 11,000 constituents representation.
The AP interviewed one of those plaintiffs, Anna Wong, who has a transgender child and said she'd voted for Zephyr in 2022 because she knew Zephyr would "speak out against the onslaught of bills targeting transgender youth."
“Suicide amongst transgender youth is not imaginary,” Wong said. “It is not a game and it is not a political foil. It is real. It is heartbreaking. And it is the responsibility of my representative to speak out against bills promoting it.”
That's exactly what Zephyr was getting at when she spoke against Senate Bill 99, which bans gender-affirming care for trans youth. Zephyr accurately said forcing trans kids to undergo puberty as the sex they don't identify is "tantamount to torture" and said she hoped that those voting for the bill would "see the blood on your hands" the next time they pray during a House invocation. (Technically, the censure resolution only cited Zephyr's refusal to leave the floor last week during a demonstration by her supporters. But c'mon, we know why she was silenced.)
While there are only a few days left in the session, the Legislature still hasn't passed a budget, and Zephyr's lawsuit seeks her immediate reinstatement so she can represent her constituents in debate on that and other last minute bills.
Emily Flower, a spokesperson for Montana Attorney General Austin Knudsen (R), whose office will manage the defense in the lawsuit, dismissed it as "performance litigation — political activism masquerading as a lawsuit," and said that the courts have no power to intervene, because separation of powers.
As Hayes Brown notes at MSNBC, that argument may win out, unfortunately, because the US Constitution gives the US House and Senate the power to "determine the Rules of its Proceedings," and that generally applies to state legislatures too, because 14th Amendment. Montana's constitution does indeed allow the Legislature to expel or punish legislators for "good cause," with a two-thirds vote of the appropriate house.
Zephyr's lawsuit acknowledges that, but also argues that the House GOP leaders applied the rules unfairly and capriciously, so they were
acting within the “color of the law” — technically allowed but acting against the spirit of the law and beyond the scope of its reach.
Brown notes that the argument that the House is depriving Zephyr's constituents of representation may be more compelling than the First Amendment claim, since that's "the most immediate harm that a court could rule on given the closing window for participation."
But hey better a long shot than no shot at all. Zephyr has, since last week's vote, been dutifully showing up and sitting on a bench near the entrance to the House chamber to work on her laptop, although yesterday when she arrived, she found the bench had been taken already. So she worked at a table instead, standing up for her community.
\u201cSome folks showed up early this morning and sat on the public benches near the entrance to the House, so Seat 31 has moved.\n\nI'm up and ready to work. Plus, I hear stand desks are all the rage these days.\u201d— Rep. Zooey Zephyr (@Rep. Zooey Zephyr) 1682974009
Some folks showed up early this morning and sat on the public benches near the entrance to the House, so Seat 31 has moved.
I'm up and ready to work. Plus, I hear stand desks are all the rage these days.
But who were those ladies who made a point of arriving early to occupy the bench where Zephyr had been sitting? Ha ha it was a very funny trick by the wives of several prominent Republicans in the state Lege, including Jolene Regier, the mother of Speaker Matt Regier and wife of Senator Keith Regier. Wasn't that clever of them? It's inspiring to see how every aspect of governing in Republican-run states is now given over to trolling the libs!
\u201c@dutchessprim @ZoAndBehold The ladies on the bench are MT GOP legislature wives.....Jolene Regier, Sharon Deakin Nason, and Beth Hinebauch.\u201d— DutchessPrim\ud83d\udc99 (@DutchessPrim\ud83d\udc99) 1682976372
That is very humorous! Their husbands and sons kept Zephyr off the floor, and then the clever lady tricksters kept her off the bench, haha! Today, supporters of Zephyr made sure to be on the benches as soon as the Capitol doors opened, to save her a spot.
But also this morning, some unidentified opponent of trans rights took a less harmless approach to trying to silence Zephyr, calling the police in an attempt to send a SWAT team to the home of Zephyr's partner, journalist Erin Reed. Such SWATting attempts have resulted in at least two deaths — one from a police shooting, one from a heart attack — and many incidents in which police arrived at someone's door ready to use deadly force against a nonexistent threat.
Reed tweeted that the SWATting attempt against her failed, largely because "I've worked closely with the police in my community anticipating this," so there's one more tip for the journalist toolbox: If you write about issues that make the far-Right insane, let the police know they may get false reports of a hostage situation or other nonexistent crime at your home.
Update/clarification: The SWATting attempt may very well have come from outside Montana, because as indy reporter Alejandra Caraballo said on the Twitters, the dangerous hate troll site Kiwi Farms, which targets trans people and reporters for harassment in hopes that they'll kill themselves or die in a SWATting, added Reed to its page shortly before the attempted SWATting. They're pure evil.
This shit can't be tolerated. Zooey Zephyr isn't about to let herself be silenced, and neither should any of us who care about equality and freedom. Let your electeds, especially your Republican electeds, know that trans rights matter to you, and that if they think beating up on trans people will win them votes, it'll also get them very loud opposition, to say nothing of how they may end up in the history books on the same page as the Bull Connors and the George Wallaces.
And if you have some spare Ameros for Zooey Zephyr's 2024 reelection campaign, keep that in mind too. Montana needs her voice — and hey, she could use some company in the Montana House too.
[AP / MSNBC / Zephyr et al v. Montana]
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Kevin McCarthy Suddenly Takes Bold Stand For Ukraine, Wonder What He's Not Scared Of Anymore
It is a mystery wrapped in a conundrum that probably rhymes with Fucker.
The oddest little thing seems to have happened to Republican House Speaker Kevin McCarthy, at least for the moment. He seems to know what side he's supposed to be on in regards to Ukraine and Russia.
But listen, for real, though. He was in Jerusalem, and that empty cavity dead-air tumbleweed-brained pretty boy actually stood up to a Russian reporter.
"We know that you don't support the unlimited and uncontrolled supplies of weaponry and aid to Ukraine," the reporter, who introduced himself as part of Russian state-sponsored media outlet RIA Novosti, asked McCarthy. "So, can you comment: Is it possible in the near future [that] the U.S. policy regarding sending weaponry to Ukraine will change?"
You see, the Russian reporter was able to set up the question that way because Kevin has been a cowardly skidmark about this in the past.
But Kevin was like oh no no no no no.
"I vote for aid to Ukraine, I support aid to Ukraine," McCarthy replied.
And he said:
"I do not support what your country has done to Ukraine. I do not support your killing of the children, either.
"And I think for one standpoint you should pull out, and I don't think it's right. And we will continue to support because the rest of the world sees it just as it is."
Oh! Look at that!
And everybody clapped for him, which Kevin likes, because clapping means he did a good thing and is a good boy and people like him and think he's handsome.
\u201cMcCarthy in Israel admonishes a Russian reporter, tells him "I do not support what your country has done to Ukraine. I do not support your killing of the children either."\u201d— Aaron Rupar (@Aaron Rupar) 1682952180
Credit where credit is due. McCarthy did not hesitate. He actually got his back up and immediately stopped that sniveling Russian reporter in his tracks.
Of course, who knows what will happen when Kevin gets home and has to face Marjorie Taylor Greene, since she is a foreign policy moron and a Putin cheerleader, and he has said in the past that he will "never leave that woman." Literally just this morning, she posted one of her million-word screeds on Twitter that reads like a mass shooter manifesto, and it included re-vomited Russian propaganda about "their precious war against nuclear Russia in Ukraine" and other idiot words.
Again, the Russian reporter was only able to ask this because Kevin McCarthy has repeated "blank check" rhetoric, which is basically what the reporter asked him about. Credit to McCarthy for shutting it down, but if we want to avoid these stinky situations in the future, KEVIN, you know what we should not do? Barf out GOP/Kremlin propaganda about Ukraine on the regs.
But he did it. Some people are wondering if maybe he feels little bit freer now that a certain Kremlin court fluffer has lost his giant Fox News microphone. At the Washington Post, Aaron Blake notes that McCarthy specifically didn't take the "blank check" bait. And he adds:
McCarthy also said that “we will continue to support” Ukraine, which would seem to send a message to members like Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.) and McCarthy’s newfound ally Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.), who have joined with Carlson to try to push the party in an isolationist direction. [...]
But we shouldn’t dismiss the Carlson effect. It was just three months ago that conservative former British prime minister Boris Johnson suggested that Republicans were too scared of Carlson to stick up for Ukraine. “I’ve been amazed and horrified by how many people are frightened of a guy called Tucker Carlson,” Johnson said.
And Tucker's gone now. Therefore Kevin doesn't have to keep him happy anymore. He knows that if he finds any more J6 tapes lying around that he needs turned into lying propaganda that whitewashes the insurrection, he's gonna have to give them to Newsmax or something.
Oh noooooo Tucker, come back!
Serious talk, though. We don't think any of us has really begun to grapple with all the ways our politics may change in the next couple years simply because that motherfucker doesn't have his nightly 8 p.m. perch on Fox News. It'll be interesting to watch.
Marjorie Taylor Greene really is going to be so mad, though, seriously. First she finds out there's an entire Pornhub website that's all about Hunter Biden's wing-a-wang, and then Kevin McCarthy, her very best friend forever, goes off to Israel and openly says nice things about America's allies and is unkind to our enemies. That is not the kind of behavior she likes to see. If that rumor about her only having three great big weird prehistoric dinosaur toes on each foot was true we bet she would kick Kevin McCarthy with them when he got back to America.
But it's not true, so if she kicks him, it'll be with regular feet, the end.
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