Washington Post Makes Avoiding Politicians Easier Than Ever
Over at the Washington Post, they have a mapping feature that will keep you apprised of when any of the many useless candidates for President will be coming to your town. That way, you'll have plenty of advance warning to pack up and evacuate loved ones, making the unholy, highway-clogging bloodbaths of previous election cycles, sadly, things of the past. As you can see, they've even included Mike Gravel and Jim Gilmore, giving their supporters vital evidence that they are, in fact, running.
You can also sit back and pretend that the map points are vengeful javelins thrown by seraphim, piercing the bodies of these pandering jackanapes.
Fans of Gawker Stalker should feel free to take the Washington Post up on their offer to submit a campaign event by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org. Even then, it'll probably still be too classy an enterpirse for that dicktard Jimmy Kimmel to work himself up into a girlish lather over.