Republican nominee for governor of Virginia Ed Gillespie released a campaign ad earlier this week aiming to stoke fear in the cul-de-sacked bedroom communities of Northern Virginia. Because Democratic nominee Ralph Northam voted against a measure in the General Assembly which would have prevented localities from passing "sanctuary city" laws, the ad says, he would let MS-13 run wild through the streets and scenic byways of Virginia.

"Wait, what the hell are you talking about? Didn't we just have an election LAST YEAR?" you are saying to yourself, right now, after reading that paragraph.

Well, the Commonwealth of Virginia elects her governors in odd-numbered years following US Presidential elections so as to keep the riffraff and federal executive branch groupies from voting. Since the turnout will only be about half as many people as when Hillary Clinton won the state’s electoral votes in 2016, getting out the vote is critical for both parties. So Ed Gillespie needs significant portions of the conservative base to be sufficiently afraid to motivate them to vote. Let's watch the ad!

Since you people obviously are not watching it, it's some local news clips about MS-13 violence in Virginia and then some stills of Latino gangsters with face tattoos and of Ralph Northam through a spooky bluish sepia-type filter. Here is the transcript, conveniently lifted directly from Gillespie's campaign website:

Anchor 1: MS-13 appears to be surging again.

Anchor 2: The dangerous street gang MS-13 are responsible for the recent murder in Bedford County.

Anchor 3: Those crimes have been increasing around our region.

Narrator: MS-13 is a menace, yet Ralph Northam voted in favor of sanctuary cities that let dangerous illegal immigrants back on the street, increasing the threat of MS-13. Ralph Northam’s policies are dangerous.

Ed Gillespie: I’m Ed Gillespie, candidate for governor, and I sponsored this ad for a safer, stronger Virginia.


Oh, thank you, ThinkProgress,for pointing out that the Gillespie campaign just grabbed a pic from a Google image search for "El Salvador gangster" and that those scary guys are not even in Virginia, nor are they members of MS-13. They are some other gang in El Salvador you have never heard of, so you don't even know to be afraid of them. You can read the Gillespie campaign's comment to ThinkProgress over there, but it boils down to, "They all look the same to me."

We should also note how they came to nail this albatross to Ralph Northam's ass, as told in the Richmond Times-Dispatch. As the Lieutenant Governor, he breaks ties in the state Senate (much like the vice president in the US Senate). This past session (which coincided with the gubernatorial primary campaigns), there was a bill before the Senate that was supposed to ban "sanctuary cities." Majority Leader Tommy Norment (R-JC Penney Boys' Department) was the last senator to cast a vote, and he voted against the bill to force a 20-20 tie. Lt. Gov. Northam fulfilled his obligation to break the tie and voted to kill the bill. Then, Sen. Norment made some parliamentary maneuvers to retake the vote, and the bill passed with his support.

BUT! Boring Ralph was on the record voting against banning sanctuary cities (ipso facto he is FOR GANGS). That very same day, the Gillespie campaign was running with the story. Undoubtedly, this swayed some racists who were still on the fence between Enron Ed and his primary opponent: Trump racist Corey Stewart.

In other adventures in PR at the Gillespie campaign, the boys are taking on another conservative boogeyman: The Washington Post. A couple weeks ago, campaign chairman Pete Snyder scrawled off a 750-word rebuttal to an editorial. WaPo told him they don't take unsolicited Op-Eds, but he's welcome to write a letter to the editor, which have a 250-word limit. Begrudgingly, Snyder killed his darlings, and WaPo ran his letter. However, the campaign is NOT happy with how the paper edited the letter, writing in a press release, "The piece was also reduced to 223 words — well short of the agreed upon word limit." You can read the original op-ed submission and the letter that eventually ran at the Gillespie campaign website. Frankly, the cut-down version seems to be represent the ideas in the longer piece pretty well.

In sum, vote for Ed Gillespie because he will keep Virginia safe from MS-13 violence by being a complete bitch about a newspaper's Letters to the Editor policy.

[ThinkProgress|Richmond Times-Dispatch|Ed Gillespie's Campaign]

Donate with CC
Screenshot, CNN

If the facts are against you, argue the law. If the law is against you, argue the facts. If the law and the facts are against you, pound the table and yell like hell. And if that doesn't work, just make shit up.

Talking hairpiece Jay Sekulow went on Chris Cuomo's CNN show Wednesday night to barf out the latest Trumpland nonsense on the Russian WITCH HUNT. Remember way back in May, 2017 when Donald Trump told Lester Holt about that hilarious time he fired James Comey to murder the Russia investigation?

"I was going to fire Comey knowing there's no good time to do it. And in fact when I decided to just do it, I said to myself, I said, 'you know, this Russia thing with Trump and Russia is a made up story, it's an excuse by the Democrats for having lost an election that they should have won.'"

Did you think that meant he actually fired Comey TO MURDER THE RUSSIA INVESTIGATION? Watch and learn, kids!

Keep reading... Show less
Donate with CC

In the words of the great Tammy Wynette, sometimes it's hard to be a woman. This week has been such a time for many of us out there, what with the impending prospect of seeing yet another sex predator who wants to take away our reproductive rights getting confirmed to the highest court in the land. Oh, it's almost like we, and our bodily autonomy, don't even matter at all.

Thankfully, several conservative columnists have graciously taken the time to explain to the rest of us why we should stand by their man. Not for his good, but for our own. Because it will be empowering. So come on gals, let's switch out our sneakers for pumps like the the working gals in 1980s movies, set up our desk salads, and just really lean in to see what they have to say!

First up, we've got Catherine Glenn Foster over at The Federalist, who wants us to know that losing our reproductive rights will empower us beyond our wildest dreams, according to the actual title of her essay.

Keep reading... Show less
Donate with CC

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc