We Actually Won the Iraq War, Hooray!

We fight our company's battles in the air on land and sea - WonketteAs all the other reasons for the Iraq invasion and occupation are tossed aside for being either intentional deceptions (WMDs) or just plain feel-good nonsense (democracy, human rights, whatever), the real reason for the war has been a total success: U.S. and British oil companies will take over Iraq's oil fields under a new Iraqi law written by the Bush Administration.

Western energy giants such as Exxon and Shell will control Iraqi oil exploration for the next 30 years while keeping 75% of the profits. Let freedom reign!

Our proud democratic oil companies haven't had control of the Iraqi fields since 1972, when Iraq nationalized the industry to try to keep that cash in Iraq. In 1999, Halliburton CEO Richard Cheney explained the problem to his colleagues:

By 2010 we will need on the order of an additional 50 million barrels a day. So where is the oil going to come from?... [T]he Middle East with two thirds of the world's oil and the lowest cost, is still where the prize ultimately lies, even though companies are anxious for greater access there, progress continues to be slow."
Problem solved, suckers!

Future of Iraq: The spoils of war [Independent]


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