We Bombed in Baghdad

iraq elections.JPGWe're often accused of wiseassery over her at Wonkette, but the truth is, we want nothing more for the people of Iraq to be free. The same kittens and picnics and Death Cab For Cutie concerts we take for granted in America are all things we wish the Iraqi people to enjoy. They deserve to have their own Al-Gawkiri network lampooning their social elites. They deserve to have their Lives Hacked, their Grids Skipped. They deserve a weekly feature, perhaps titled Sunni-Controlled Regions Lose that depicts the fashion disasters of their own MDMA-soaked clubkids. And they deserve a democracy strong enough to support a Wonkette of their own, because while you may not know it, there is assfucking in Iraq. And it is very dirty, we assure you.


But as we get news on the results of the recent parliamentary elections in Iraq, we note that there is one word that accurately captures the U.S. backed factions: Dukakis. Our man in Baghdad, Ayad Allawi and his Iraq National List party, is going to find himself out on the governmental fringes with a paltry 25 seats or so, and while Ahmed Chalabi remains the king of Christopher Hitchens gin-drenched heart, he's basically gone down in flames where the future of Iraq is concerned.

So, if when you heard "freedoms on the march in Iraq" you thought "secular, Western-style democracy", well, prepare yourself to be disappointed. If the Shiite center holds and the entire nation doesn't swallow itself whole in a factional bloodfeud, we may luck out and not have to come home from the middle east having created Iran West. But based upon what's unfolding in Iraq, if we intend to celebrate a new democracy in Iraq for 2006, we better hope Lee Greenwood learns a few catchy tunes about Sharia law.

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