We Can't Wait For November 5, 2008
Sorry about the delay in reporting the various candidacies and non-candidacies for 2008. Well, actually, not sorry. The nerve of these goddamned people .... This is worse than the Christmas crap going on display the morning after Halloween. Can't they let America have a few weeks of peace before the campaign for president?
No, of course not. That would show some form of Human Dignity. Anyway, here's what's going on with the people who hate you ... after the jump.
* Russ Feingold is out, and we aren't talking about the closet. (He's a Democrat.) Despite or because of his "netroots" support, the twice-divorced single senator from Wisconsin has taken himself out of the race, joining Mark Warner in the club of self-inflicted losses. [Milwaukee Journal Sentinel]
* Rudy Giuliani is in. The divorced gay-roommate-having opera-loving dandy wants to make every day just like September 11, 2001. He will run on a platform of acting like a president when the real president has to fly around like a dingbat because Cheney says so. [WaPo The Fix]
* John McCain hasn't formally declared, which matches his usual pattern of playing all sides of every issue until people get bored and move to another country. [Real Clear Politics]
* Mitt Romney -- the "masshole" who distinguished himself by having a large, dangerous hole dug in the middle of Boston -- benefits from the selection of Mike Duncan as semi-chairman of the RNC. But a vast Mormon conspiracy has already doomed Mitt's run for the Republican nomination. (He's basically the Republican Dukakis and nobody sane ever thought he would be president.) [Comment is free]
That's enough for now. Barack and Hillary continue to do what they do. Biden is sorta running. And this former senator from Alaska is officially in the race. He almost wins the coveted Wonkette Primary Endorsement based on his crazy website and bold promises -- Raze Guantanamo and Abu Ghraib prisons to the ground. Oh, and the governor of Iowa is running. This is going to be great.
PS -- We need some kind of Wonkette "March To The White House" idiot graphic. If our in-house graphics person sees this, give it a try. If not, we'll rely on our talented readership. Winner gets ... something good, yet basically worthless. And a big thank you right here on this site.