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We Had to Burn the Democracy in Order to Save It

Last week, Homeland Security honcho Tom Ridge warned that al Qaeda may be planning to a large-scale attack "in an effort to disrupt the democratic process." So of course what should we do if one happens in early November? Well, Ridge's number two has an idea: Delay the elections! So best.


Because the terrorists hate our freedom, you know. And if we allow the democratic process to move forward, the terrorists will have won! It all makes so much sense, I think my head might explode!

Actually, we're sort of starting to get it. Like, if al Qaeda bombed all the voting places, that would make it hard to hold an election. Or if they somehow purged a bunch of law-abiding citizens off the voter rolls for no reason. Or maybe if they rigged up a black box electronic voting system. Or threw the whole thing to the Supreme Court. Those things would be a problem, democracy-wise.

Officials discuss how to delay Election Day [CNN]

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Is there ANY good news for the bumblefucking Trump re-election campaign these days? Their polling numbers are in the shitter, therefore Trump is firing the pollsters. Trump's Hitler rally kickoff event in Florida last night was ... whatever it was. Oh, and did we mention that they ain't got no money? Like, of course, not counting whatever Russian money they're not telling us about.

Don Jr. recently called a prominent donor and warned that Trump's money haul is falling behind where Barack Obama was early in his reelection, while Jared Kushner has privately complained to RNC chairwoman Ronna Romney McDaniel that Trump's war chest is not as big as it should be at this point in the cycle.

Whiiiiiiiiiine. Guess they're gonna have to see if they can launder some rubles somewhere, ALLEGEDLY.

Gabe Sherman has some more bad news about Trump's shithole campaign, and it is that Robert and Rebekah Mercer, the father-daughter billionaire duo who bankrolled much of Trump's "victory" in 2016 -- including funding Breitbart, and also the part of the "victory" that comprised Cambridge Analytica, the data company they owned that may have done some real hinky stuff, possibly with Russia, in order to get Trump "elected" -- have zipped up their checkbooks and decided Trump can go eat dicks for all they care.

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Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

1. Pick "just once" or "monthly."

2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

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