"There's nothing funny about Katrina," some of you have written, and obviously we disagree. Whipped wet anchormen are amusing, as is debating how many Presidential vacations can dance on the head of a pin. We just saw a Fox correspondent try to quantify the damage by touring a demolished Hard Rock Hotel: "There's Madonna's bustier from her 1987 tour." If you stop laughing, you'll just cry.
That's not to say there's no tragedy.
[Earnestness continues after the jump.]
New Orleans, for instance, had more bars per capita than any other American city (or at least it seemed like it). It had a tradition by which young women showed their boobies in exchange for plastic beads. It was a great city with character and history older than the country itself, and we don't have many of those. The human toll -- the dead, the injured, the homeless -- will be even more heartwrenching, and the tally will likely come in a magnitude no amount of alcohol can dull, though we certainly will try.
But before you get too drunk to dial or click, we suggest you get out your credit card. The Wonkette household gave at least four or five rounds worth (somewhere nice, too) to the Red Cross -- we like them especially because they'll take your blood if you can't give them cash. (They need both.) In good-bad news, their site seems to be clogged, so try calling: 1-800-435-7669. The megabloggers are keeping lists of other worthy charities if you want to be "different." If you have more than a few dollars to spare, consider tossing some kibble toward those who can't ask for charity: The Humane Society and Noah's Wish will be attempting to rescue the hundreds if not thousands of pets left abandoned because of the disaster.
You really don't have anything to give? You an intern or something? Good wishes are free, as are prayers if your religion allows it, and the Times-Picayune is hosting a bulletin board where you can emote en mass. Not that there's any internet access at the Superdome, but it's better than sitting around making ass-fucking jokes or something.
Now: Make ours a double.
RELATED: See you there.