We Must Destroy Iran With Large Bombs

An awful threat looms over, or on the other side of, the world. That threat is a country run by Evil Fanatics who, even though they were defeated by like 300 Greeks many years ago, have somehow built a new Empire of Evil which consists of, well, their country -- a country called "Iran" (no "q").


Do you know what they did? According to experts, about thirty years ago they got mad at us, the Good Americans, because we were running their country for some reason and would not let them have some democracy because they were poor and/or angry. So they made the American guy ("The Shah") get cancer and go to Florida or someplace nice like that, and they kept our spies locked up in the U.S. Embassy until we crashed a lot of helicopters in the general region and Ronald Reagan & George H.W. Bush Senior promised the Evil Fanatics that America would always give them the finest weapons in exchange for money to kill people in Central America. Also, the Iranians are blocking Wonkette!

Seriously, the Evil Regime has an Internet Content Filter just like your office, and they've got it turned up to "No Wonkette." THIS WON'T STAND.

Here is the Eyewitness Report from an American media professional who wishes to remain anonymous because he doesn't want to get fired from an unnamed news program.

Your website is not accessible in Iran. Don't know if you knew that. The Gov't blocks it. I was there. I tried to get my daily dose, and couldn't.

We asked if Michelle Malkin's crazy website was blocked, too.

No, it seemed pretty random. No MySpace, no Facebook, but you could get the New York Times, the Washington Post. And you'd get this creepy screen with god knows what in Farsi and a huge exclamation point on a yellow triangle. I bet Malkin's bikini shots are HUGE over there.

Hey, Mahmoud: You're doing it wrong. The Malkins are the ones demanding that Cheney nuke your country. Ha ha, that would not exactly be the sort of "acquiring nuclear technology" stuff you're seeking, now would it?

Wonkette, on the other hand, stands bravely with, er, Ron Paul or whichever presidential candidate isn't promising to also nuke Tehran. Kucinich, right? And probably Mike Gravel. Yes, that is a fine group of men: Wee Ron Paul, Mike "I'll be standing over here with this rock" Gravel and Dennis "Hot Young Wife" Kucinich. They are all that's standing between Tehran and one of those B-52s "mistakenly" loaded with live nuclear missiles.

So you might as well unblock Wonkette and have some lolz in the meantime, right?

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