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We Only Pray He Doesn't Get to the Bit About Divine Right of Kings

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Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales on Monday ordered a side-by-side review of American and British counterterrorism laws as a first step toward determining whether further changes in American law are warranted.

Suggested changes in American anti-terrorism law, based on British law:


  • FBI agents should sport funny hats, bushy mustaches.

  • More cunning, impeccably-dressed detectives.

  • Interrogations must involve beatings with oversized comedy truncheons.

  • Pursuit of suspected terrorists shall be sped-up, involve more scantily-clad women, set to Yakety Sax.

  • Not freaking everyone the fuck out with trumped-up busts of imbeciles "planning" impossible but terrifying plots involving blowing up Sears Tower with oil-soaked rag or knocking over Brooklyn Bridge by putting on weight, jumping up and down on it.

  • Catching terrorists.

In Wake of Plot, Justice Dept. Will Study Britain's Terror Laws [NYT]

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