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Weird Canadian Still Trying To Sell Electronic Box Signed By Sarah Palin

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Quick! What is the fastest way to make money on the Internet? "Selling Gawker your anonymous college essay about the time you saw Julian Assange's mangy pube patch" is not an acceptable answer, because instead of paying you in legal tender Nick Denton would probably just transfer a few of his toenail clippings into your PayPal account. So basically your only other option is to ask Sarah Palin to autograph a box -- a shoebox, Julian Assange's hairy man-box, any box will do -- and then auction this box for millions upon billions of dollars. You will be rich immediately! Just ask this weird guy from Canada, who has spent nearly two years trying to sell his Palin-bedazzled "x" box for $1.1 million on eBay. There are no jobs and everybody is poor, so naturally most people have plenty of extra money to spend on a hilariously over-priced, vandalized box that is probably haunted by demons.


Here is the seller's autobiography:

My name is David Morrill. I live in Alberta Canada and I have always wanted to drive the Alaskan highway from my home near Edmonton Alberta, all the way to Alaska. This trip is about a 7000km / 4300mi round trip. I figured that since I was going up there anyway, I should try to see the most famous person from that state, so I timed my trip with the governors picnic in Wasilla. When the governors picnic took place there were hordes of people trying to see her, but I pushed my way through the crowd to the front of the line. When I was in front of Sarah Palin, I told her that I had traveled three days to see her and asked her to sign my Xbox360. She said it was the most extravagant thing she had ever been asked to sign. I shook her hand, removed myself from the crowd, and then I packed up my Xbox360 and headed home. It was one of the greatest thrills of my life to have watched Sarah Palin on CNN, SNL, Youtube, and then to see her right in front of me.

Instead of a Certificate of Authenticity, this autographed video game console comes with a moldy "Wasilla dog" purchased at Sarah Palin's child labor snack shack. That's all the proof anyone should ever need.

Even if some idiot does eventually buy this box of horrors for $1.1 million, PayPal will charge a "processing fee" before mailing our Canadian friend a check for the grand sum of "a clump of Nick Denton's dandruff." Oh man! Should have just written that story about the pubes! [Mediaite]

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Cripes the News has been awful lately! And so Yr Editrix suggested we find some good, positive news. Especially after we pitched writing a Wonket about this Mother Jones story on how global warming may be killing the whales, even though Donald Trump knows their prince. (Reply: "Nope. FOR SURE NOT THAT.") And so, as a reminder that a gooder world is possible and apropos of nothing at all that definitely didn't set your Editrix off on Twitter, where she has been stewing and bitching most shrillfully about the 2016 election and the 2020 election and any terrible similarities thereof and thereupon and therefore and thereto, we present a collection of videos of Elizabeth Warren yelling at big banks and calling for them to be broken up and their criminal operators to go to jail. Puppies and kittens will only get you so far, after all.

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Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

1. Pick "just once" or "monthly."

2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

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