Weirdos Armed With Stepstool & Spray Paint Attack Garages of Minnesota Politicians!
Well here's a story, we suppose: Some nut in Minnesota spray-painted weird religious things on the garages belonging to Senators Norm Coleman and Amy Klobuchar and U.S. Representatives Keith Ellison, John Kline, Michele Bachmann and Jim Ramstad. So, Democrats and Republicans, Lutherans and Jesus Freaks, even a Muslim! What the hell?
This person, possibly the Batman, hit all these houses last night! The garages were all vandalized with variations of "U R A CRIMINAL RESIGN OR ELSE! PSALM 2," suggesting either Prince (who lives in the area) or AOL commenters (who are legion) did the terrorism. Oh, and he/they/it showed extra hatred for Ellison, our first Islamic congressman since Thomas Jefferson, because his house got sprayed, too.
Perhaps most sinister is the possible criminal use of a stepstool outside the Ellison residence, suggesting Garrison Keillor is responsible for these hate crimes:
The word "SCUM" was spraypainted above the garage door -- high enough, Weiss said, that the culprit probably would have needed a stepstool.
Psalm 2, that is not even a verse, it's a whole goddamned chapter or whatever you call it, in the Bible, suggesting that the Lord God may be responsible for these horrors. Let's check it out:
1 Why do the heathen rage,
and the people imagine a vain thing?
2 The kings of the earth set themselves,
and the rulers take counsel together,
against the LORD, and against his Anointed, Acts 4.25, 26 saying,
3 Let us break their bands asunder,
and cast away their cords from us.
4 He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh:
the Lord shall have them in derision.
5 Then shall he speak unto them in his wrath,
and vex them in his sore displeasure ....
And etc., etc., who the hell knows what it means. Also, there are 275 crazy comments on the Star Tribune article, with about 95% of them missing the point that Democrats and Republicans were both targeted, so go laugh at that.