What Is Mike Huckabee Even Doing These Days?
Former presidential frontrunner Mike Huckabee continues to run for president, despite his complete lack of funds, chances of winning, or rapidly waning popularity among the American people. Also, the fact that John McCain has won the nomination, "mathematically." But Huck believes in the miracles of superstitious cult icon Jesus, and he is still campaigning on that amiable combo of good humor and punching supporters in the chin (above). Join us on an AP photo tour after the jump and see how Huckabee has been spending the rest of his week!
Huckabee visited American treasure The Alamo in San Antonio, Texas, the site of America's greatest defeat to the Mexicans since the nomination of John McCain for president. Our Huck met with some of these aliens and offered them all free college education -- in exchange for their denunciation of Spanish papist god John F. Kennedy.
Our hero then tried to win some of John McCain's supporters by cheating on his wife, pre-game fornication pictured here. Huck popped a miraculous boner over her red snow sweater, despite a harasser's insistence on showing Huckabee the name of his book, Living Beyond Your Lifetime, as an apt metaphor for Huck's current run for president.
Uh oh, it looks like Huck's sexual relations with that woman in the red snow sweater has caused some tensions in his marriage. Huckabee, as you know, sometimes crosses the line at campaign events. It didn't help either that Barack Obama was delivering divine oratory on stage behind him, or that Mike is going to be divorced soon (and also not president of anything).
Now who's this little boy, and why isn't he in school? Probably because he's homeschooled, which is how most little boys are indoctrinated into the Fair Tax cult.
Mike needed a little extra cash for his tour of Rhode Island, so he spent a few days substitute teaching the five black children of the state and their white classmate. They enjoyed his version of "Hound Dog" by Elvis Presley so much that they clapped for three hours straight! That may, however, be due to the fact that Huckabee introduced himself as Barack Obama, and the kids were really excited to have Barack Obama as their substitute teacher.