What Is This 'ACORN' Crap About, Anyway?


Hamas Mouse voted with ACORN terror bums??!One of the weirdest things to watch in American politics is how the wingnuts do these lockstep moves to some "what the hell are they even talking about?" fake outrage, and within hours there are millions of inane illiterate blog comments and chain emails and C-SPAN callers all prattling on about something nobody had any problem with and had never even heard of, say, last week. How does this happen? What is ACORN, anyway?

We were going to explore it, IN DEPTH, but instead noticed our comrade and former Wonkette editor Alex Pareene had already posted a perfectly good and accurate FAQ, so let's talk to him about it, while simultaneously evading any actual long research/writing things today.

Basically, ACORN is a group that has advocated for terrorists -- poor people, malnourished American schoolkids, etc. And one of the things this shadowy terrorist group does is try to register voters, because a lot of people who are struggling to simply survive are not bothering so much with following politics and getting to the polling place. And Republicans like it this way, because they've yet to figure out a way to convince certain groups of poor people (minorities) to vote for a party that is 100% against their interests and basic existence.

So, it's easy to get the white bitters outraged because they don't like poor minorities, either! This is some kind of elaborate class-war/race-war fakeout and it is effective at "motivating the base," and is just one more reason why Democracy, as it is practiced in the United States, is just dumb, and needs to end. Anyway, also:

What are my talking points for when crazy relatives argue that ACORN stole the election?

What we're dealing with so far is minor voter registration fraud. The questionable registrations number in the double digits in most states, and most of them have been flagged and caught by either ACORN themselves or election officials. Furthermore in many places the false registrations are required by law to be submitted anyway, so that ACORN isn't guilty of, say, tossing out the forms of Republicans they sign up. They do try to flag the fake ones as fake, but regardless, the fake ones are still being caught. Also: voter registration fraud does not coherently lead to voter fraud, because if you register one man 75 times, how will he vote 75 times, exactly?

More importantly, the election can't be stolen if it hasn't happened yet, and voter registration fraud does not explain in any way a double digit lead for a candidate in national tracking polls. Like, wtf, how are you making this argument, are you slow? ACORN registering Mickey Mouse is why Barack Obama is up 12 in Pennsylvania? Ok, sure, whatever you say.

10:50 AM me: That ACORN thing you wrote is very good! Maybe I will just paste the whole thing into wonkette so I don't have to write it. (Or I could "hot link" to yrs, I guess.)

Alex: haha yes why not

thank you, i have i feeling we will all be rewriting it over and over again for four years

10:52 AM me: forever. i wish james baker or somebody would just do a coup and we could stop doing all this.

i can't be the only one reading this bill ayers stuff and thinking, "GODDAMN, those were crazy times, wish I'd blown up the Pentagon!"

Alex: haha I KNOW

me: instead we have to solemnly shake our heads, with dignity, and repudiate everything fun.

10:54 AM Alex: i mean honestly they were way more successful at blowing themselves up in their fancy west village apartment than they were at killing pigs or whatever but STILL i don't want to live in a country where it is "bad" to want to destroy the pentagon

10:55 AM me: Bin Laden is a dick ... after all we did for him, in the '80s!

10:57 AM Alex: http://imagebot.org/debate.jpg

me: !

Alex: now forward that to michelle malkin

10:58 AM me: Yes, right away. We're all in this together, after all.

Wait, What's Up With ACORN? [Gawker]


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