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What Makes Bobby Run? (Part 2)

We asked, why in the fuck would Bob Novak do something so batshit and disproportionate as he did last afternoon? We continue to hear answers.


Possible explanation: Perhaps he "wants to get out of his contract now that all CNN's expressly political programming is gone?" (TVNewser emailer)

Our take: Elaborate and pointless! Yet working...

Possible explanation: "A team of LIBERAL HOLLYWOOD/FRENCH FILMMAKERS AND GEEKY LEFTIST TECHNICIANS have been working for 2 years on a CGI version of the HONORABLE ROBERT NOVAK. Not Bob (as the crew calls him) was unveiled today. The episode was directed by JEAN LUC GODARD (which breaks my heart)and conceived by KNOWN PRANKSTER ASHTON KUTCHER. Carville, of course, was played by actor James Carville. The host was some LIB TOOL. Oliver Stone and the TRAITOR FROM THE DIXIE TRICKS did the CGI animation. CRACK-POT JANEANE GARAFALO created the voice of Robert Novak using a FANCY LIBERAL COMPUTER PROGRAM." ("Jeff Gannon")

Our take: As plausible as "wanted to get out of answering questions about the CIA leak investigation."

Further thoughts all from Wonkette readers after the jump.

Possible explanation: "My theory is that Novak had been drinking...Lord knows he's been stressed lately! Slurred speech, inability to articulate his thoughts, maintain focal attention... It's all there in the video." (M.P.)

Our take: Well, no one can be all bad. (Though we had thought Novak was an exception proves rule kinda type.)

Possible explanation: "In a q. and a. at the end [of this C-SPAN program], Novak was asked to comment on his recent column on the Plame outing. He said something about having chosen his words very carefully, and that he didn't want to talk about it because he has (this is a rough quote - I couldn't find a transcript) "a lot better control over what comes out of my computer than what comes out of my mouth" He said this in the oddest way, and finished with a very wry smile.

Could it be that his comment on CNN was planned? Watching his confusion in the moments afterward, it's hard to imagine that was the case. Maybe... I don't know... there's no such thing as free will?" (David)

Our take: We're with St. Augustine on this one: Free will is the origin of evil. It follows since Bob Novak is evil, he has free will. Really poorly controlled free will.

Possible explanation: Lots of you went with some version of "he had to take a dump."

Our take: He goes in his pants like every one else on television.

Possible explanation: "Why should the on air doings be the presumed source of the dark lawd's hissy fit? Perhaps Carville was at him prior to air, as that comment about backbone seemed a continuation of a prior discussion rather than a reply specific to the question of Harris' makeup." (E.S.)

Our take: Impossible. Novak is only unfrozen five minutes prior to air.

Possible explanation: "I was getting away from a large pile of manure on the floor."

Our take: Literal! We like.

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