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What Will Be On/In Newt And Rick At Tonight’s Debate, For Ash Wednesday?

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Reddit user "oldbean"asks the question that would have already been running through all of our heads, if we weren't such godless scum:


Will Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich have ash on their foreheads in tonight's [CNN] debate?

HUH. Good question! Here are the predictions your Wonkette overlords made in the super double-secret plus cubed chatroom where we set the liberal homosexual agenda.

Liz C.: Hmmm. Hard to think of anything else besides "santorum," the non-proper noun.

Jim N.: Newt will have a spoonful of semen in his mouth.

Kirsten J.: Rick will probably be wearing the small soft-bristle children's toothbrush he usually has inserted in his anus at any given time that helps him keep that appearance like he can't slouch even if he tries, but I should think of something Lent-related.

Ken L.: Newt's will just be a smear of blood-red lipstick from a trollop. Santorum's will be a splash of santorum.

Will Mitt follow suit, like the clever intelligence-gathering robot he is? Is Catholicism even legal in Ron Paul's Texas? Join us tonight for answers, and LIVE-BLOGGING, by a Jim Newell hologram! [Reddit]

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