What Will Be On/In Newt And Rick At Tonight’s Debate, For Ash Wednesday?


Reddit user "oldbean"asks the question that would have already been running through all of our heads, if we weren't such godless scum:

Will Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich have ash on their foreheads in tonight's [CNN] debate?

HUH. Good question! Here are the predictions your Wonkette overlords made in the super double-secret plus cubed chatroom where we set the liberal homosexual agenda.

Liz C.: Hmmm. Hard to think of anything else besides "santorum," the non-proper noun.

Jim N.: Newt will have a spoonful of semen in his mouth.

Kirsten J.: Rick will probably be wearing the small soft-bristle children's toothbrush he usually has inserted in his anus at any given time that helps him keep that appearance like he can't slouch even if he tries, but I should think of something Lent-related.

Ken L.: Newt's will just be a smear of blood-red lipstick from a trollop. Santorum's will be a splash of santorum.

Will Mitt follow suit, like the clever intelligence-gathering robot he is? Is Catholicism even legal in Ron Paul's Texas? Join us tonight for answers, and LIVE-BLOGGING, by a Jim Newell hologram! [Reddit]


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