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Whatcha Doing, Gays? Oh, Just Giving Birth To Satan Out Of Your Butts? Carry On!

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Since we just wrapped up our annual war on Jesus's Pretend Birthday, people might be thinking: "Well, then, when is Satan's birthday?" and "I should at least send a card, don't you think?" Well, here is the answer to that question, via Joseph Sciambra, an "ex-gay" who used to do the porn: every time a gay does sex in the butt, he gives birth to Satan, from his butt. So to take this thought to its natural conclusion, this means that every day, including Jesus's birthday, is Satan's birthday. Celebrate accordingly!


We also learn from this important Christian evangelism video that "anal sex" has replaced the "first kiss," which must create a whole lot of extra work for the chaperones of high school dances. Also, dude had to have his entire heiny hoo-hoo rebuilt by surgeons, he says, due to all the buttsexing.

QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION: once Satan is butt-born, where does he go? Does he require constant care and feeding, and is this why your gay friends can't seem to arrive anywhere on time? Whenever you see a gay with a scar on his lower back, does that mean he had a C-section? If the fetus you save is The Dark Lord Of The Universe, will you still fight for his rights? Hmmmm, pro-lifers?

According to the HuffPost, clown up there has lots of other videos, and also a blog, so enjoy those as you will.

[Huffington Post]

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No pressure in November, but looks like the Supreme Court is going to do FUCK ALL about gerrymandering this term. In a unanimous decision authored by Chief Justice Roberts, the Court remanded the landmark Gill v. Whitford redistricting case on standing -- in other words, they won't be ruling on it because the plaintiffs challenging the gerrymander hadn't adequately proved that they personally had the right to challenge Wisconsin's preposterous districts.

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We have been hearing ever since late last week that Michael Cohen is probably about to be arrested and probably going to be indicted on one million charges and probably maybe might be about to try to flip and make a deal so that he doesn't end up in prison for the rest of his natural life. In fact, we have been hanging our hopes on it, because everything else sucks. Sure, we are still filled with joy over how Paul Manafort is on day four of JAIL, MOTHERFUCKER, JAIL, but then we remembered what is happening on the border and what we are saying right now is we need something happy.

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