Have you heard the damning revelation the New York Times has uncovered about Dean's wife? Wait for it. . .
"She has never been to Iowa."
Before you go on and congratulate her for her good sense, keep in mind that many other people have been to Iowa, and it's shown no ill effects. We joke. The article really just wants what's best for Mrs. Dean -- or "Dr. Steinberg," as she insists on being called. The NYT is very, very concerned that her absence from the campaign trail will damage Dean; and, sure, don't you think it's weird that she, you know, works? Still, we can't imagine that Dean's that concerned. When your whole campaign is made up of nubile young twenty-somethings (some of them lesbians!), it doesn't kill you to leave the wife at home.