Which Men On Politichicks' 'Hottest Conservatives' List Would Your Wonkette Do Sex On?

Serious question, Wonkvilleins, because the conservative ladeez of "Politichicks" have put together a Conservative Men Swinging Dicks contest that for real includes Rush Limbaugh, Jonah Goldberg, Joseph Farah and Neil Cavuto, COME ON. (To be fair, those bloated piles of pig anus feature in subcategories like "New Media" and "Rush Limbaugh" and did not final.) But which hot men show enough

#1. Intelligence. These guys are brilliant.

#2. Courage. They aren’t afraid to stand up to challenges, speak the truth and fight for our country.

#3: Passion (See above)

#4: Sense of humor. Self-deprecating gets you extra points.

#5: Looks. This can be either conventionally handsome or someone who simply exudes sexiness

that we would actually want to get all nasty up in them? (Yes, in them. "Santorum" isn't Dan Savage's only neologism.)

Honestly, we have no idea who this guy is, but for a conservative guy, he is certainly very hot. Would we fuck him? Yes, if he didn't say things like "Hey! Thanks for watching my vids! If you like the message in them then You’ll have a BLAST nukin’ the liberal Narrative with my audio book of Christian Conservalicious profundus, written and read by Me! WEAPON OF A.S.S. DESTRUCTION! CLICK HERE AND CHECK OUT SOME REVIEWS, AND GET YOUR COPY!!!"


Don't know who this guy is either, and they certainly didn't bring him in as a ringer. Sorry, you are not getting fucked by Wonket :(

Can you imagine his curly little pig penis? Also, you know he keeps his eyes squeezed shut, because lady bodies make him Ashamed.


Not even with Doktor Zoom's dick.

Yeah, we would probably bone this guy. Then he would report us to the FBI.

These women are bizarre.


Now they are fucking with us.

Bingo. We would absolutely fuck Rick Perry if we were very very drunk. Or if we were bored. Or in the same room as him.

Don't act like you wouldn't. Snipy would fuck Rick Perry, and she is a bulldagger.


We are now officially tired of posting screenshots of the Politichicks' Hot Meat contest, but please know that they ended the list of winners with Ted Cruz, even though he has Fetal Alcohol Face, to go with his Jerk Baby.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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