Which Republican Candidate Can Lick That Kentucky Clerk Lady's Knob Best?
LINE UP, BOYS!
Kentucky county clerk Kim Davis, she is the "it" topic in our political conversation right now! Is she a dumb hick lady who thinks her loving God will roast her in hell for all eterntity, on a pyre made of her own jumpers, for signing a gay marriage license? Yes! Is the Liberty Counsel using her as its pawn in a culture war it's already lost? Ayup! Did she do so much adultery before she gave her heart to Jesus, it'll make your head spin trying to figure out which husbands she was fuckin' at any given time in her life or who her baby daddy is? Bingo! Despite all this, is she a great American religious freedom fighter hero? Some Republican presidential candidates sure think so!
Nobody licks a knob like Mike Huckabee licks a knob
The winner of this contest, by far, is Mike Huckabee, because you know what he did? He called Kim Davis, to lick her knob ON THE PHONE:
“There is a county clerk who is showing more courage, more conviction and more of a better understanding of the constitution than virtually any elected official in America,” said Huckabee. “I called to encourage her and to thank her for not capitulating to what is really nothing less than judicial tyranny.”
Mike Huckabee Knows Things. He knows his son was forgiven by Jesus for killing that dog, he knows Josh Duggar was forgiven by Jesus for fingering his sisters, and he knows Kim Davis is a better authority on United States marriage law than the Supreme fucking Court.