WHICH Sesame Street Character Will Be PBS's Messenger Of 'FUCK YOU' To Trump?
The annual White House Egg Roll is this weekend, and by all accounts, it is shaping up to be a hot mess. They took forever getting their order for commemorative eggs in and kept ignoring the guy who makes them, they haven't quite gotten around to sending out invitations, they don't have any performers that anyone knows about, other than maybe a military band, and the staff of the Visitor's Office, usually the ones in charge of the event, do not presently exist because Melania has not yet hired them.
In fact, the White House only really got on the ball for planning the usually highly publicized and organized event a few weeks ago. That was when they decided to get in touch with PBS to see about which Sesame Street characters they could get to attend.
That they got in touch with PBS at all is pretty damned awkward, given that Trump's proposed budget eliminates all federal funding for the Corporation For Public Broadcasting. You wouldn't think they'd have the gall to be asking for any favors from them, particularly with such late notice. But they did!
Even Curious George and Elmo did not know for sure that the Easter Egg Roll was happening until late last month, when the White House first contacted PBS Kids to ask if it could provide costumed characters.
“We just got word about this year’s Egg Roll and are working on planning,” Jennifer Rankin Byrne, the senior director of media relations for PBS, said on March 20.
The Easter Egg Roll has been crowded in past years with cast members from “Sesame Street,” but this year, there will be a lone emissary.
“PBS asked us to participate with them, and we agreed to provide a ‘Sesame Street’ character,” said Elizabeth Weinreb Fishman, the vice president for strategic communications for Sesame Workshop. She declined to say which character would attend, referring questions to the White House.
This is positively delightful and brilliant and perfect. "OH, you want to defund us? ONLY ONE SESAME STREET CHARACTER FOR YOU." As it should be. It's actually funnier that they're only sending one than if they refused altogether.
Which one will it be, though? I have some IDEAS!
Mr. Snuffleupagus, but back when he was imaginary!
See, this way, they send nothing, but insist that Mr. Snuffleupagus was there -- just invisible. Which he had to go back to being, due to recent budget cuts.
Oh hey! There was once, briefly, a Donald Trump character on Sesame Street. I am sure they still have him somewhere in storage, and this could be the perfect time to bring him back out of storage. We all know how much Donald Trump loves it when people parody him.
Count Von Count
One! The number of Sesame Street Characters participating in this event! Two! The number of people Melania has gotten to hiring! Three! The amount of weeks they spent planning this, maybe! Four! Years until we can vote Trump out of office, if he isn't impeached by then!
Has not been on Sesame Street for years, and probably no one will know who or what he is supposed to be. Excellent choice!
Kami, the HIV Positive Muppet
Perhaps Kami can explain the importance of needle exchanges to Mike Pence, so that he doesn't start an AIDS epidemic across the country like he did in Indiana?
Lily is a muppet whose parents are poor. She taught kids about food insecurity, and how valuable school lunch programs are. Which is a lesson that perhaps some people in the Trump administration might want to learn themselves.
Tea Sipping Kermit.
Give us money. Also, now do open thread.
Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse