While We Were Sleeping: Well, Technically We Were Passed Out (Again)

Dan reports that morning chat shows temporarily interrupted by breaking news. Never again. Apparently there was some kind of contest last night. We hope that guy sings "She Bangs" in that funny voice won!


News peg: Bush wins, basically. Hot topic: Exit polls shit the bit. Unsurprising revelation: Were Ohio not the story of the day, nearly every network would be scrambling, as most have entirely different electoral counts and declared states.

7:00 AM. The electoral count on each network is hard to get, because with the opening of the network morning shows the screen gets a lot less cluttered. NBC replaces electoral count with nationwide lottery numbers. But as best as I can tell:

NBC: Bush 269, Kerry 238, with WI, IA, NV, NM undeclared.

CNN: Bush 254, Kerry 252, with OH, IA, NM undeclared.

ABC: Bush 254, Kerry 242, with IA, WI, OH undeclared.

FNC: Bush 269, Kerry 242, with IA, WI, NV undeclared.

CBS: Bush 254, Kerry 242, with OH, WI, IA undeclared.

7:03 ABC. Good Morning America:

George Stephanopoulos: "Kerry winning is virtually impossible."

7:08 FNC. Fox & Friends:

The anchors debate whether Bush is awake yet. Steve Doocy: "He's usually up at 5:30 in the morning." Brian Kilmeade: "But that's because he goes to bed at 9. He got special permission to stay up late this time."

7:13 ABC. Good Morning America:

Rudy Giuliani: Calls for "an act of statesmanship" on Kerry's part. Cites Bush's 51% as higher than Clinton ever got.

7:16 NBC. Today:

Mark Racicot, BC04 Chairman: We're allowing Kerry to concede before we declare victory. The President will speak later today but I don't know what he's going to say. We knew from several glitches that early exit polls were inaccurate: for example, had too many Catholics in WI, not enough Latinos in FL.

7:18 CBS. The Early Show:

Mark Racicot appears simultaneously on NBC and CBS, through the magic of videotaping. Based on 2002 Illinois example, no more than 17% of provisional ballots in Ohio will even be legitimate.

7:24 MSNBC. Imus in the Morning:

Imus offers the sensible and totally improbable suggestion that Bush should offer Kerry the ambassadorship to France.

7:25 FNC. Fox & Friends:

E.D. Hill: "You the viewers want a quick election, but it does [the TV industry] no good if it's over quick. We want it to drag out so you have to watch us all night."

7:35 FNC. Fox & Friends:

Rudy Giuliani makes his second appearance. "Were the situation reversed, the President would concede." FNC anchors try and get him to talk about running in '08. Rudy claims he has no idea, but says he enjoys kissing babies. You know what this means: more baby-eating photos for Wonkette!

7:39 FNC. Fox & Friends:

Senator Bill Frist (R-TN). Takes the high road. "Tom [Daschle] has done an admirable job, an effective advocate for the other side of the aisle."

7:45 CBS. The Early Show:

John Roberts shows a poll noting that in the Midwest, "moral values" were the #1 issue driving voters, at 22%. "The Midwest is the new South."

7:47 FNC. Fox & Friends:

Ohio BC04 Chair Rob Portman: Believes anti-gay-marriage initiative helped Republican turnout. Republican volunteers were pure of heart while Democrats volunteers were paid shills.

7:54 FNC. Fox & Friends:

Frank Luntz, pollster: "The exit polling was awful. They were off by 6-8-9-10%. Their models were wrong. They didn't anticipate the turnout surge." Bush voters were the ones standing in line at night -- businesspeople who wouldn't wait in line in the morning. The exit poll fiasco is "not an issue of fraud, it's an issue of incompetence." Is congratulated for predicting Ohio yesterday, though everyone sidesteps the fact that Luntz's prediction was based on Zogby -- the same dude who called the election for Kerry at 5:00 yesterday afternoon.

8:24 NBC. Today:

Maggie Hill, who with her fellow members of the (Kenyon College, I believe) field hockey team waited nine hours in line to vote, is interviewed by Matt Lauer. Perky and upbeat, though she says her polling place had only two voting booths with 2000+ in line. Says she has not been discouraged about the political process. Field hockey players are congenitally hot.

8:27 FNC. Fox & Friends:

Larry Sabato, UVa. Exit polls could've turned the election. "We like to drop hints so people know we're on the inside. That can affect people. I sure hope that you and the other networks make them answer for it." This morning's common refrain, stated succinctly: "If I have one more cup of coffee I'm going into orbit."

8:32 FNC. Fox & Friends:

The anchors gather around a laptop to announce that Ohio's Secretary of State says in 78 of 88 Ohio counties, there are 135,000 provisional ballots.

8:43 FNC. Fox & Friends:

Florida Secretary of State Glenda Hood crows about how Florida didn't fuck it up. Senate race still too close to call and will likely be automatically machine recounted.

8:46 CBS. The Early Show:

Caffeine-wired Neil Sabato makes appearance #2. "Unlike his father, Bush campaigned hard and never gave up."

8:50 ABC. Good Morning America:

Stephanopoulos says it won't be long before Kerry concedes.

8:51 FNC. Fox & Friends:

Head vs. head: Bob Beckel, Democratic sore loser, vs. Ann Coulter, Republican sore winner. Beckel is mock-jovial and grumpy; Coulter drips with contempt.

Beckel: "Now I have something to attack for the next four years."

Coulter: "This cliffhanger stuff is nonsense. The Democrats gave it everything they had -- Springsteen, Kabbalah, slashed tires."

Beckel: After 2000, my side felt robbed. Why not let us count the provisional ballots?

Coulter: "The Democrats are showing what good sports they are again."

Beckel: "Why should I rally around the president? It's a democracy -- I don't have to agree with the sonofa -- the President."

Coulter: "The South is 100% Republican."

OVERALL

Uh... need you ask who took the day? Message of the day: Kerry will concede by noon; even if he doesn't, Bush will announce victory this afternoon.

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