Tucker Carlson Worries About 'Greasy' Barack Obama, Who's Just So Partisan

Somebody's worried about the election.

On "The Tucker Carlson Smile-Time Caucasian Anxiety Jamboree" last night, Tucker Carlson used the occasion of John Lewis's funeral to warn Americans that the radical Left — or the "professional Left," because what's the point of being a commie if it's not profitable — is on a quest to totally seize power and destroy America. In other words, it was exactly like every other unhinged Tucker Carlson rant about how evil leftists are about to seize absolute power and destroy America.

But this time, you see, it was different, because just as we all loved seeing Barack Obama talking like a real president when he eulogized John Lewis yesterday, Tucker Carlson got to take a trip down memory lane too! Except his nostalgia for the Obama years meant he got the chance to once again call the former president "one of the sleaziest and most dishonest figures in the history of American politics," because — egad! — Obama said that the murder of George Floyd was a bad thing.

Guess we're not the only ones who miss Obama.

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Trump Could Probably Kill DACA Legally But It’s Just More Fun The Other Way

John Roberts tried to make it easy for him.

Donald Trump experienced a minor inconvenience in his evil scheme to screw over Dreamers when the Supreme Court ruled against his administration's “arbitrary and capricious" attempt to rescind Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA), the Obama executive order that gave some 700,000 people the chance to live and work here legally. It seemed fair because the Dreamers had committed no crime themselves, unlike most of Trump's 2016 campaign team.

The Supreme Court never actually said Trump couldn't go forth and multiply evil. Chief Justice John Roberts made clear in his opinion that Trump's gaggle of ghouls just needed to come up with a legally sound explanation other than “Mexicans bad. Trump smash!"

Trump promised to resubmit his DACA exam after Professor Roberts gave him an extension. It was the easiest community college test possible but Trump's team of unrivaled incompetence still failed.

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White Nonsense

Texas Asshole Wants To Share Good News About ‘Mostly Elderly & Hispanics’ Dying From COVID-19

Vance Ginn is one of the worst people in a state with at least one Ted Cruz.

The Texas Department of State Health Services released more comprehensive data about the state's COVID-19 deaths, and it's depressing and shameful. Before Monday, there were significant gaps in the state's racial and ethnic breakdowns of deaths, but now we know that Hispanic residents are disproportionate victims of COVID-19. They are 40 percent of the population but make up 47 percent of total deaths.

This is terrible news — unless you're a racist monster like Vance Ginn, who sees nothing but upsides. The chief economist for the Texas Public Policy Foundation tweeted this data with a twisted joie de vivre you don't see often see among the human soul having.


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White Nonsense

Why Honor Memory Of John Lewis When You Can Frolic At Klan Amusement Park?

Alabama state Rep. Will Dismukes is almost comically racist.

There's a pleasing fantasy that racism will finally end when the last withered segregation-era bigot breathes his last, but Alabama state Rep. Will Dismukes is proof that racism's a renewable resource.

Last weekend, the body of American hero and genuine patriot John Lewis returned to Alabama, the place of his birth and where his life could've ended on a bridge in Selma. Like a common Donald Trump, Dismukes couldn't be bothered to pay his respects. He was otherwise engaged in the land of cotton at Fort Dixie, which is not an actual military base so Trump doesn't have to worry about the woke mob renaming it after Al Sharpton.

Kyle Whitmire, a columnist for the Alabama Media Group, wrote about Dismuke's Lost Cause weekend. It's more absurdly racist than you could imagine.

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