I am a confirmed bad employment risk with a hat trick of failed dot-coms under my belt: Maybe you've invested in them? Suck.com? Feed.com? Inside.com? I'd link to them, but they don't exist anymore! My bad.
After being fired by a political magazine that I cannot, under legal penalty, name in public, I retired to the Virginia suburbs. Now bored with generating Beltway gossip, I have decided to collect it. Please, make my life worth living by sending me some, or else I may get a real journalism job and destroy another hapless publication. It would be on your conscience.