Who Had The Worst Election Day Tuesday? It Is You, Annette Bosworth of South Dakota!


We've all been pretty busy trying to sort out the election drama in Mississippi, where we still don't know whether human stain Chris McDaniel or angry great-grandpa Thad Cochran will be the Republican standard-bearer, but we really shouldn't sleep on the Republicans in South Dakota, because stuff is getting plenty weird there. Witness poor poor Annette Bosworth, who started Wednesday by learning she'd lost her primary race from Megyn Kelly on national teevee and ended Wednesday arrested for perjury and election fraud. Heckuva day, Annette!

Bosworth, who ran in the Republican primary for Senate in South Dakota went on Fox News to find a sympathetic ear for her wah wah wahhing about how mean liberals SO MEAN to conservative ladies, but things got awkward right from the start when Kelly kicked off the segment with the breaking news that Mike Rounds, former South Dakota governor, had prevailed in the GOP primary and would go on to the general.

"That's news to me. I didn't know that. I found out on national television," she said.

"I'm sorry to break the news to you," Kelly said.

Ouch. That's gonna leave a mark, and you can already see the perma-sulk setting in on Bosworth's face as she takes in the news. But at least humiliation can fade away. Arrest records are kinda forever, and now Annette Bosworth has her very own.

South Dakota authorities on Wednesday arrested former U.S. Senate candidate Annette Bosworth, alleging she fraudulently attested to gathering voter signatures when she was really on a Christian mission trip to the Philippines.

South Dakota Attorney General Marty Jackley charged Dr. Bosworth with six counts of perjury and six counts of filing false documents related to election campaign laws. [...] State Division of Criminal Investigation agent Bryan Gortmaker alleged, in an arrest affidavit, that Dr. Bosworth attested to personally gathering signatures in January when she was in fact serving on a publicized medical mission trip in the Philippines. She also attested to gathering signatures on some Hutterite colonies, but residents interviewed said the documents weren't signed in front of Dr. Bosworth[.]

Bosworth's defense/explanation is, of course, that this is all part of a nefarious plot by fellow Republican Mike Rounds and also too she didn't even need those stupid signatures, jerks, and they weren't fake because she didn't mean any harm, nuh-uh.

Dr. Bosworth called the charges "a political intimidation scheme" against her by Mr. Jackley, who was initially appointed to his position by former Gov. Mike Rounds. [...]

"We still believe this is a political persecution," Dr. Bosworth said in a prepared statement. [...]

Dr. Bosworth said she had hundreds more signatures than were needed to get on the primary ballot, and the validity of those signatures isn't in question.

"Simply put, there was no criminal intent to deceive, nor was there any reason to," she said.

Annette Bosworth may have lost her primary, but she's already a winner at mastering the non-denial denial. We see a big future in Republican politics for this little lady.


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How do you do, fellow libs? We come together tonight to cheer and clap and cry and laugh, with our leader, Elizabeth Warren, and her fellow nice people Jay Inslee (the gold standard in climate action), Beto O'Rourke (excellent on being a good ally mostly), Cory Booker (best corny love hippie but also Wall Street, it's weird), Julian Castro (I don't know, people are super into him despite his creepy twinness and his too much pomade), Amy Klobuchar (bad bitch), Bill de Blasio ( ... ), John Delaney (???), and Tim Ryan and Tulsi Gabbard.

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We know, the thing we said in our headline is a thing you can say every day, but it's really intense today, maybe because Donald Trump is now filled with fear of the inescapable reality that millions of Americans who have not read the Mueller Report are going to see Robert Mueller testify on live TV on July 17, and Donald Trump will be exposed. Maybe the Big Mac vending machine next to his golden toilet is on the fritz and he hasn't had gotten to eat a Big Mac on the poop chair since last night. Maybe he's just a weak and sad person, a collection of shithole cells God meant to throw in the garbage, but accidentally implanted in Mary Trump's turkey incubator. We imagine that'd lead to a pretty constant state of anxiety and ennui.

Whatever it is, he's totally fucked right now. We were going to write a nice post about Trump's batshit interview on Fox Business with Maria Bartiromo, but we were busy, and by the time we got to it, he had performed so many batshit feats that we're just going to stick them all in this one post.

Let's start with the fight he's trying to wage with US soccer star Megan Rapinoe, who in a now-viral video stated that she has no fuckin' interest in going to the White House to meet that idiot. He got into a quarrel with her on Twitter ... or at least with a Twitter account that didn't belong to her. It's now been replaced, in order that the adult president may shit-tweet at the soccer superstar who hurt his feelings, but Splinter grabbed the original:

The rant continued:

Right. And Megan Rapinoe just said win or lose, she has no interest in meeting your crusty ass, because no decent American would consider that an honor.

Besides, she has already been to the White House to meet a legitimately elected president:

By the by, the owner of the incorrect Megan Rapinoe account saw Trump's whining and told him to grow a dick and set it on fire:

Ya burnt!

But as we said, it was a whole day of batshit from Trump, so let's continue.

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