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Who Really Closed Chris Christie's Bridge? We Will Give You One Guess And It Is Barack Obama

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In what has to be the easiest wingnut editorial ever written, the online remnants of the New York Sun declared that if Chris Christie's bridge of sighs was a case of political retribution, then Barack Obama is a bully to put Christie to shame, because he shut down parts of the government during the government shutdown. Yeah, we know. See, the idea -- and we use the term loosely -- is that once again, the liberal Powers That Be are doing a double standards dance:

Let’s see if we get this right. Governor Christie is engulfed in scandal because several of his aides conspired without his knowledge to close approaches to the George Washington Bridge and tie up traffic in order to make a political point and embarrass the mayor of Fort Lee, a Democrat ...

Forgive us, but are we the only ones who think this is absurd? Maybe not in the abstract. But in comparison to the stunts the Obama administration pulled during the budget fight.

A verb, guys. You need a verb. And yes, sure, the government shutdown in October happened when the Obama administration "didn’t get its way from the Republicans on Capitol Hill," because in wingnutland, that is an accurate description of a shutdown that Ted Cruz was planning since last spring.

But anyway, here is how Barack Obama is worser than Chris Christie. Where Christie -- or his unruly subordinates, without his knowledge, sure -- fucked up traffic in one city to punish one particular mayor that he had a beef with, Obama petulantly lashed out at all of America, and so his administration

closed national parks and penny ante historical sites, it ended White House tours. It imposed all kinds of un-necessary inconveniences for the sole purpose of political payback. It fairly wrote the book on this modus operandi. The newspapers, the television were full of it. Everybody seemed to think it was a normal, logical reaction to the budget fight.

We totally remember that! We think that maybe part of the reason it happened was that Republicans in the House refused to pass a budget resolution, and the government had no spending authority. Just like in previous government shutdowns under administrations of both parties. We especially remember the scandal over those leaked emails saying "Time for some monument problems on the mall" and "Is it wrong that I'm smiling? I feel badly about the veterans, I guess. They are veterans who voted for Romney." Also, considering that the shutdown also eliminated funding for Head Start, it seems like a pretty badly targeted act of "political payback" maybe.

By our lights Governor Christie’s aides were wrong to pull the stunt they did. But if they were wrong, if this calls the governor’s political future into question, what about Mr. Obama? Where is the press conference where he professes to be embarrassed and humiliated -- that’s what Mr. Christie confessed to being -- because of the antics of his department heads? Where is the Justice Department investigation of the Democratic administration? Whom has Mr. Obama fired? Where is all the talk about how Mr. Obama is a political bully?

Why, it is right here in the New York Sun, of course! But you guys aren't even really trying -- you left out BenghazIRSolyndrafFastandFuriousRAWWWR.

The real hilarity here, of course, is that the Sun is one of the few places in the Wingnuttosphere that feels Christie is getting a raw deal -- the rest are all too busy fapping over how BridgeGhazi is such excellent news for Rand Paul or Ted Cruz.

[New York Sun]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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