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Who Will Protect Us From Public Handjobs

As I mentioned this morning, I am in lovely Minneapolis for the Labor Day Holiday. Meaning I arrived at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport MERE MONTHS after Larry Craig's reign of terror was finally ended. While I didn't actually have time to stop by the infamous bathroom by the shoe shine stand (the cops were hassling my ride for parking in the red zone or whatever), there was still media hanging around, doing live spots from the parking lot for no reason other than that they were kind of near where something shocking happened in June. It turns out the local news here (and perhaps in your town as well!) has reached full-on gay panic mode, and reports on the births of goats at the State Fair are leading directly into sordid tales of YOUR CHILDREN AT RISK from gays across the state violating Leviticus in family restaurants


While the most shameless stories are, as always, on the nightly televised newscasts, even the fairly staid Star Tribune got into the act today, with a front page story on the PUBLIC GAY SEX MENACE. Here's a randomly-selected paragraph!

While it's not clear if the Internet played a role in Craig's case, Web discussions have become a common forum for directing people to hot spots for anonymous gay sex.

Did you know there's even a "cruisy toilet" on Machinery Hill at the State Fair? Because, uhh, duh!

Of course this has been going on as long as there have been indoor toilets in public places (or, uh, since well, well before that, actually) but now we all have a fun excuse to get morally outraged. How dare adults engage in consensual sex!

The Strib found arrest records for 41 hapless dudes busted for airport cruising. Seven of them were Northwest Airlines employees! Some of them were busted from Craigslist! Heads up!

After a 75-year-old Apple Valley man was caught, he suggested to police that "people do this activity because they don't get any activity at home anymore."

Thank god Minneapolis's Finest got this menace off the streets.

Anti-Gay Sex Vigilante Squads -- or "Tucker Squads" -- are expected to begin forming across the country and viciously attacking all the wide-stanced pervs they can find.

Public-sex crackdown takes police to Internet [Strib]

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